Posted by responsiblek9 on November 18, 2003, at 23:26:08
In reply to Solitude vs Loneliness, posted by galkeepinon on September 9, 2003, at 1:56:42
Good subject. I tend toward solitude as I feel so out of place among people . Most of my childhood was spent alone . I made three friends in that time. Two were adults . Both died of cancer within a month of each other just a year after I made friends with them. The last one a kid my age committed suicide and I found him on one of my night wanderings down by the river.
After that is was just too much. I dont dare attach to people . They just die or move away anyway. I have walked most of the continental divide up into Wyoming and down into New Mexico perfectly content through my teenage years not to see people for 6 months or better. Dont feel comfortable around people. Now I am too crippled to walk like that anymore . But solitude refuels me ,Dealing with people or crowds wears me right out. It is like walking into a foreign land. I dont belong there . That is where loneliness walks in . Alone I dont feel alone , just when I am around people the trouble crops up. My world is not their world and never will be . Most dont understand this. Their values are not mine. Their goals dont make sense. A real fifth wheel. Kids though often come by to play on my property and I watch them play with the trained dogs and the crazy cat I have. They bring their parents to meet me . So I know who my neighbors are and they me . Kinda funny how most kids have never seen how jacks are played or marbles . Or how to make a water whirly for the creek or fix their own bicycles. Kinda fun though to see their parents watch and get interested in this stuff too. City kids lost in the country .
poster:responsiblek9
thread:258302
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20030903/msgs/281072.html