Posted by Impermanence on May 30, 2004, at 7:26:13
In reply to Re: I think I've lost my faith. » Impermanence, posted by rayww on May 30, 2004, at 0:04:00
Believe me Rayww I've tried, I've spent the last couple of years meditating and praying and asking for guidance. My mother asked me to say a rosary with her every evening and I have for the last two months.
The more I pray the less interested I am in what I'm doing. I do have an awareness about life, I understand that living in this western world with all it's comforts while people all across the globe are living in poverty, and doing nothing about it is categorically wrong.
I know I'll help people when I get myself sorted out. Maybe a year in Sudan working with a charity will teach me the value of humility.I'm a good person, I coulden't hurt a fly (well maybe the odd fly in my face) but the older and wiser I get the more I see God as something most people need because they can't grasp the idea that soon they will not exist anymore. Fear makes people believe in God, not love. Most people need the idea that some kind loving sprit is watching over them and no matter how hard life is there is a reward at the end.
If the majority of so called Christians started living as Christ lived instead of praying to him the world woulden't have very many problems.
I don't know if God is there or not, nobody really knows, but I do know that compassion and understanding are the most important things in life, not because wise people told that but because I feel it in my gut.I don't want to live a life without God, it seems empty, but I know thats just an emotion I feel because I was brought up to believe that God is there.
I really think I'm loosing my faith, I could live my life under an illusion that would react chemicals in my brain to make me feel good or I could wake up and smell the coffee, this is it, this is all I will ever know, live in the moment and do what I can to end suffering when I get better myself.
Thanks for your repily Rayww, I've read many of your posts and you seem like a very intelligent person. When I say I think I've lost my faith I only mean in God (whatever God is supposed to be). As corrupt and destructive as the world is I haven't lost my faith in humanity, it just needs a good kick in the ass and a revolution or twelve to become a shadow of enlightened.
poster:Impermanence
thread:351946
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20040408/msgs/352092.html