Posted by holymama on January 4, 2004, at 17:41:52
I've recently been diagnosed with bipolar II after finding out that antidepressants make me manic!! Although I am stabilizing on Trileptal and Lexapro and no longer feel manic, the three month manic episode I had this fall is hard to shake. I had what I can only describe as a 'mystical' experience, feeling close to God, feeling saintly, holy...it is hard to find the words. I had previously been studying the bible a bit with a Jehovah's Witness for a few months, and when I got manic I became OBSESSED with the religion and with living a life centered on God. I freaked everyone out around me, considering I'm a very liberal hippy artist mother of three little children. This change was severe.
The obsession is gone now that I have come down out of that mania, but the longing for God is still there. I guess this is a good thing -- a gift -- something I can take away from the experience that I had and use in my life. I have a very strong faith in God now and a strong desire to be a Christian (though hopefully I can shake the Jehovah's Witnesses!!)
It's just been such an earth shaking, life changing event for me and has left me really confused. I am mentally ill...I have experienced religious ecstasy...I have been involved with a 'brainwashing' cult...all at the same time. I am looking for any advice, stories etc. to help me sort this out.. Thank you!
poster:holymama
thread:296441
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20030908/msgs/296441.html