Posted by Racer on October 16, 2005, at 16:07:45
In reply to Ok, here's the thing... » Racer, posted by Sonya on October 16, 2005, at 14:04:28
The part about 'I really hate that my life is all about weight and food.'
That weakness is something you really should be listening to, by the way. That's said as someone who's experienced the same sort of thing, and it can be dangerous.
As for other people? When I was 50 pounds underweight, had lost about half the hair on my head, grown hair on my face, was lost to the world in AN -- people kept telling me how great I looked. You really can't let that influence you, because it's your body and your life that you're endangering. I know you're a bit older than I am, so you should certainly head out for a DEXA scan. Mine showed that I was on the cusp of osteoporosis, and that I had already gotten shorter! Think about that. Think about how difficult it is to live your life with rubbery legs. Think about how you feel, rather than how other people think you look.
I wish I had an answer for you. I have to admit, I'm cringing about my own body, how I feel about everything now that my weight's up. I was thinking about it last night -- I felt so much better about myself thin, than I do now, even though I know that this is healthier for me. I wish it weren't so, but there it is. Eating disorders are hard things to treat, for all sorts of reasons, including the amount of support we get for being sick, all those people saying we look great, just because we're thin. I don't know what to say to you about it, beyond talking to your therapist about it -- and MAKING IT CLEAR that you're suffering with this, and that you're very ambivalent about it.
Good luck. You know that I'll post back to you wiht whatever I can offer, but I'm not sure that I've got anything much that's helpful right now.
poster:Racer
thread:566751
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20051009/msgs/567736.html