Posted by Dr. Bob on July 4, 2013, at 19:22:28
In reply to Re: Trying to practice what I've been preaching, posted by Willful on July 3, 2013, at 10:36:17
> the voice of the skeptic is important. to validate that part of us that is skeptical.
>
> uh... if i had to make a decision about what a dependent was going to do... decide whether or not my kid would or would not take this or that medication... i would surely want to hear the worst of it...
>
> i guess... if someone told me i'd as good a given my kid a death warrant on an internet forum... it might better prepare me for handling myself okay were anyone to suggest it irl.
>
> hear the best case for the opposing point of view... then it kind of loses its power. at the very least you can say 'i thought about it carefully... and yes, i did consider that...'
>
> alexandra_k> i thought it was about supporting people. the poster came... and expressed gratitude for support received.
>
> so... why can't posters consider that a job well done?
>
> alexandra_k> I still like the changes in Babble, and how we collectively deal with problems with only slight oversight by Bob. I think this thread is a good example of a community trying to work through the tension of free expression and restraint, individuality and community, autonomy and supervision.
>
> Toph> The problems of years ago were not helped by the style of moderation then which seemed to inflame rather than diffuse situations. That said, it does not follow that no moderation is better. Bob does seem to be trying something new which may have possibilities.
>
> sigismundThanks, I feel understood and supported. It would be great if she stays, but even if she doesn't, her finding that she was stronger than she thought because posters gave her support and inspiration is a win in my book.
--
> I'm dreadfully sorry you resent us. Do you think the resentment is to do with our actual behavior? Or might it have something to do with your hopes and expectations of us? Your web mastermind seems to have a brilliant new scheme of how Babble should be run. Could you be feeling some resentment that we aren't embracing the change in its entirety? Would it help to remember that while parts of your new ideas aren't working badly, given the new size and makeup of Babble, your idea does need some tweaking?
>
> Dinah> To practice what I preach, I'll add that my anger with you has to do with the fact that I liked Babble with administration, that that was the Babble I chose to remain with, and that my expectations of you is that you will be willing to administrate. Even though you show me over and over that my expectations are unreasonable, and that I am banging my head against a brick wall, when I see your name on a thread I can't help but hope. And the hope leads to my anger at your responses.
>
> Dinah> you seem not to grasp how much energy it takes for those of us here to "battle" Lou's insistence on riding to the "rescue" of every new poster on psychobabble who asks about new meds, or a change of meds, or worse yet, frustration with meds.
>
> I personally am ***** (redacted by respondent) weary of reading Lou's posts and summoning the patience and swallowing the annoyance of trying yet again to engage with them, to be cool in the face of them, to answer some of his picaresque assertions
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> I did not sign up to struggle daily with Lou-as-Poster's misinformation, distortions, exaggerations, threats, warnings, and mischaracterizations of those who use and who prescribe meds.
>
> Do you read that voice's posts carefully, studying its assertions, with the sense that you need to pin them down, answer them, to find and to quote yet another study, to search down elusive (or nonexistent) information, and to reach out to the last object of its ministrations? Do you feel a burden of trying to go through the same old debate, iteration after iteration. Do you feel a sense of weariness and dread asits name appears yet again in a thread?
>
> I note [you post] as if from outside, while we mortals continue the old struggle.. You say it exhausts you? Well this all exhausts me. And bores me, and feels like being stuck. And being stuck is the one of the worst thing you can feel in therapy or life.
>
> WillfulI didn't say I resented you. I suppose it's fair to say it has to do with the mismatch between posters' behavior and my hopes. As the resentment, or frustration, some posters feel may have to do with the mismatch between Lou's behavior and their hopes. Maybe my hopes need tweaking. Maybe some posters' also do.
I liked the old Babble, too. And my old deputies. But it wasn't a sustainable model. I'm still willing to administrate, but I'm tweaking my ideas. :-)
How much energy it takes me to battle posters' insistence gives me an idea of how much energy it takes them to battle Lou's insistence. I get weary and impatient and annoyed, too. I didn't sign up to go through the same old debates, iteration after iteration. I'd rather be brilliant and reticent. Sometimes I dread certain names and feel we're stuck. But I do read those posts carefully, study their assertions, misinformation, distortions, exaggerations, threats, warnings, and mischaracterizations, and answer them. And I try to learn ways to cope and find the energy to persevere.
Bob
a brilliant and reticent Web mastermind -- The New York Times
backpedals well -- PartlyCloudy
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:1046098
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20130702/msgs/1046467.html