Posted by PartlyCloudy on April 25, 2010, at 7:06:12
In reply to Re: what might have happened, posted by Dr. Bob on April 23, 2010, at 12:59:29
Please look at this piece that appeared in the New York Times on April 21st - http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/22/fashion/22life.html
I bring it to the attention of the board, and to you, Dr Bob, for several reasons. The internet is utterly unlike face to face communication. The anonymity it affords has lent itself to escalated emotional outbursts from its very inception; "flame wars", which you have attempted to control with the evolution of the civility guidelines.
One important aspect to remember about the nature of this forum, though, is that some of the members here react to trigger situations (such as mysterious messages in their long inactive Facebook accounts) in ways that are not consistent with the general population of society. In short, we are already traumatized by past events, and so are reliving, in a very immediate sense, those past events when they are re-triggered by seemingly benign new events. Our (that is, MY) reactions are knee-jerk, not always properly thought out, and in my personal experience, out of proportion to the situation, even at that very moment when I'm madly typing and hitting that Submit button.
It's happened to me here on the boards. I've reacted poorly and regretted my actions, yet at the time, it's really and truly been out of my hands because it's been a trauma reaction. There is no stopping a trauma reaction, whether it's abundant tears, shouting and screaming at our most loved ones, or posting in reaction to a perceived threat on the boards. This has been explained to me by my therapist and pdoc, and part of my recovery process has been to avoid the environment here. It's helped me a great deal. It's only now, that my recovery has progressed to a degree that I feel secure in my reactions to many trigger situations, that I felt I was able to speak out here on the boards.
I do think that by blocking Fayeroe when you did - before she had an opportunity to enter into an open discussion with *you*, whom she seem to have offended, was unfortunate. Perhaps it might have been prejudicial and based on previous behavior. I think it was a lost chance for growth here.
poster:PartlyCloudy
thread:944420
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100321/msgs/944998.html