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Re: bullies and authority figures

Posted by Dr. Bob on June 23, 2009, at 23:48:40

In reply to Re: Rules - What constitutes an infraction?, posted by Frustratedmama on June 18, 2009, at 8:23:55

> I was wondering if this was an infraction? someone posted this in response to me earlier in the year and it still bothers me......
>
> Frustratedmama

I'm sorry that disturbed you. Concerns about specific posts should, however, be directed to us using the "notify administrators" button so those posters don't feel accused.

--

> > How about helping the bullies, who are, after all, also pediatric patients? [schools are suspending and expelling bullies] without paying attention to helping them and their families learn to function in a different way.
> >
> > Perri Klass, M.D.
>
> zenhussy

How to support bullies without supporting bullying? Maybe:

Show them how they might interpret things more charitably. Encourage them to apologize. Suggest they not address those they can't get along with. Help them avoid being suspended or expelled.

--

> At this point, I am more concerned about the rules/guidelines for the administrators.
>
> The real hurt I've experienced in myself and observed in others has come from the way the rules are interpreted and carried out.
>
> My perception is that the rules have been carried out inconsistently and subjectively, with one person having the power to be "judge, jury, and executioner" when the warnings/blocks are issued.
>
> Consequently the current mechanisms and rules in place make me feel fearful and distrustful of the admins judgments ... it is ultimately the poster who suffers through the humiliation and rejection in the end ... when the consequences of these errors result in painful psychological harm, I have to question whether giving one person all of this authority is wise.
>
> gobbledygook

There's inevitably subjectivity (and therefore inconsistency) in how the guidelines are enforced. It occurs to me that the flip side of me being so powerful is posters being so vulnerable. Have any of you been hurt, humiliated, or rejected by someone who had a lot of authority?

Bob


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