Posted by Amelia_in_StPaul on June 18, 2009, at 12:31:18 [reposted on June 18, 2009, at 16:45:51 | original URL]
In reply to Nadezda, posted by Amelia_in_StPaul on June 18, 2009, at 12:20:06
I should more carefully word my posts. I do think that sometimes people get a kick out of how smart they are (I am proud of my education), and sometimes that is the motivation for posting. But while the thought crossed my mind about Birdsong's posts, at least and especially her post to me, I am NOT really NOT accusing her of doing that (my feeling does not equal her action). But it enters my mind when someone writes a post like the one she wrote to me. And as a peer who also needs peer support, that approach is confusing to me. I don't think it needs to be policed. But that doesn't mean I don't have a right to note that. Anyway, I should have articulated what I meant much better than to throw that line out and not clarify. It sounds as though I am accusing her of being a smarty-pants in general. When really that's just how I felt in her post to me.
> Saying that I am confused as to why someone is posting is not the same as saying they should leave. I cannot help if a person leaps to that conclusion, but I want to apologize to you for the hurt I heard expressed in your post as I result of what I said. Please note that I said in another post that the reason I was not sure why she was posting was b/c this is a peer board, and it sounded like (from the posts that I have read) that she was acting as a therapist in her posts to Deneb and acting as an expert in her post w/me (with the tone of voice that implies). I think that IS confusing to some people who expect a peer interaction, not therapy. I think that on a board where people have experienced a lot of loose/squishy boundaries in their lives, they should be able to expect that a peer support board will be about peer support.
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> I also think that sometimes people get a kick out of showing how smart they are.
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> So my confusion is this: on a peer support board, why talk about one's credentials as a therapist, and then proceed to tell Deneb that she is displaying the behaviors (threatening suicide) of someone with a personality disorder (BPD), and then track down all her posts and link to them when the person resists that interpretation (as is reasonable to do--that's why therapy doesn't happen in a single session, or a single post, and why therapists should not challenge their clients without also giving them support and encouragement).
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> Should I have posted this to admin? I don't know. It didn't seem that big of a deal at the time. Just a line written in a post...and then in another post, my explanation, and a very clear and distinct clarification, in which I said, no, I wasn't saying I thought you should leave.
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poster:Amelia_in_StPaul
thread:901850
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090529/msgs/901851.html