Posted by Deputy 10derHeart on August 7, 2008, at 1:10:26
In reply to Re: Blocked for 2 weeks » Deputy 10derHeart, posted by Zeba on August 7, 2008, at 0:08:02
>I do not understand how come johnj was blocked.
I'll do my best to give you my thought process. The basic idea of civility is not to accuse and not to put down other posters, or groups of posters, even if no names are mentioned. When I read this:
> Mine has to do with an agreement I made with a poster that was violated.
I figured johnj probably doesn't have hundreds of agreements with hundreds of posters here (not trying to sound sarcastic, just exaggerating to help make my point clearer) and in fact, it's more likely this might be just one agreement with one person. If that poster read this, they could feel accused of violating agreements, and that might be embarrassing. Another issue was, that by spelling out certain details here re: a notification to admin, it's defeated the purpose of the notification system by taking an issue from private to public. The guidelines ask posters to please not address these sorts of things on the boards.
And with this part:
>I do believe they will probably just ignore me and violate our agreement again and again as they most likely cannot help themselves.
I thought if I were reading this and thought it was about me, I'd read it as pretty negative and so I'd probably feel put down being described in this way. I also read 'not being able to help themselves' as jumping to a conclusion as I don't know of any evidence this statement is based on any facts. Jumping to conclusions is uncivil per the FAQs.
>Like I said I am either dense or my brain has really been fried.
I don't think you're dense, and I'm sorry for anything you may be going through post-ECT. It must be really frustrating and difficult sometimes :-(
>Besides the answer that is the standard answer when someone is blocked,
Hmm....I'm not sure what that means...? You don't have to say, of course, I was just confused.
>why the post was so bad?
It's not really abut posts being bad, or so bad. Just whether they are or aren't written contrary to Dr. Bob's civility guidelines, as best I understand them. Civil or uncivil, based on the best decision I (very often with input from the other deputies) can make at the time.
>I would really appreciate it as I do not understand even when looking at the stuff about being civil. It all seems confusing to me.
I'm sorry it's so confusing. I don't know if this would help anyone else, but I know when I was first here, and trying to grasp the idea of civility as Dr. Bob defines it, I thought a lot about "the golden rule" when I read a post that had received a warning or block. E.g., to paraphrase, if I wouldn't want it said about me, it probably shouldn't be said about someone else.
And, I thought (still do this, actually) in questions: Does that accuse someone of something? Would I feel put down if I were described like that? Did the poster being described (if that's known, which isn't the case here) *say* (for example) they can't help themselves, or has the writer assumed that?
Stuff like that. After a while, it got easier and clearer, but it does take practice. I hope that helped somewhat. I'm sure the other deputies, could be even clearer, too. Please feel free to ask more questions as it not only could help you, but others reading, and that's a good educational tool, I think :-)
- 10derHeart
poster:Deputy 10derHeart
thread:844309
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20080719/msgs/844742.html