Posted by ClearSkies on January 21, 2007, at 22:21:32
In reply to Re: helping, posted by Honore on January 21, 2007, at 16:50:30
> I may be mistaken, by at the risk of misattributing intentions to people, I think what' s happening here is that a specific situation--which may or may not be reminiscent of other situations, but which is very much the point here-- is being discussed abstractly because we don't feel it's fair to discuss it specifically.
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> ie we don't want to name names, but we're discussing something that derives so much from a particular, unrepeatable situation, that it we really are making false substitutions, in speaking abstractly.
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> And I think this discussion is going seriously awry-- and generalizations here are not very useful or even very germaine.
>I think that turning discussions about specific situations into general ones can escalate the issues.
> I may also be mistaken, but I believe what was pressuring in the situation with Deneb (I'm sorry, but I think this is the only way to make sense of this discussion) was that Happyflower kept bringing up the threats that Deneb had made, and was unable to let the situation go. Others also responded, to a situation that had been really resolved-- ie it was essentially over.
>I think it would have been best for everyone if a "truce" or "ceasefire" had been called. I don't think I'd respond well to such a suggestion being made, though.
> Plus it would, I feel, have been much better to discuss this privately, rather than publicly--which also would have avoided the pressuring aspect.
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> I don't think repeating good advice is per se pressuring-- even if it isn't the most helpful strategy (although-depending on the situation, and person-- it may be).
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> Plus, I don't think it's really what's at stake here.
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> Honore
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>This is exactly, exactly how I feel. I tried to write this post several times, but, Honore, you have done it for me.
ClearSkies
poster:ClearSkies
thread:724710
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20061228/msgs/725019.html