Posted by Jost on June 22, 2006, at 23:36:15
In reply to Re: About venting » gardenergirl, posted by Jakeman on June 22, 2006, at 21:11:18
Not meaning to be difficult here, Jake, but I'd respectfully disagree with gg when she says that only Dr. Bob can tell you what he meant.
This may sound kind of silly, and technical, but sometimes the person making the statement isn't the best interpreter of the statement itself. Not only for psychological reasons, but because making interpretations is a skill, and also a talent, and Dr. Bob may not be as strong as a reader (ie interpreter) as he is as a therapist or facilitator of an online interaction and support group (if that's the best way to describe this place). (Or he may be--I don't know---I'm not saying he isn't.)
He may actually be the Decider (to use a word), and in that sense is the final arbiter of which interpretations are going to be enforced (although that doesn't make them right actually).
Also, in a practical sense, Dr. Bob can't be there when each of us is interpreting and expressing what we have to say in line with/or out of line with what the "being civil" rule means. So, we have to be our own best interpreters.
I personally think there are issues here that can't be teased out, and I also hope I don't fall afoul of the rule, in a moment of emotion or in expressing an idea that may be (in Bob's mind, ultimately) hurtful or too disturbing.
It's a matter of poise, I think. And we all lose our poise or balance when we're in the heat of the moment. And at that point, it can seem crucial, to express our thought, our feeling--even if later, we wonder what possessed us.
So Bob and the deputies are doing their best in a rather murky situation (again IMO) jto be fair, and protective-- but my or your lights may not be theirs. It's more a question of authority than true justice, and also just living with the uncertainty about exactly how an impassioned or disturbed/disturbing thought/feeling will fall on someone ( many someone else's) ear.
Jost
poster:Jost
thread:659757
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060622/msgs/660408.html