Posted by special_k on March 31, 2006, at 18:02:35
In reply to Re: How come I never get warnings, only blocks? » special_k, posted by Deneb on March 31, 2006, at 11:23:17
> Are you okay?
no.
> Context sensitivity bothers me. I like to think that Dr. Bob is simply the enforcer of the rules, that he has no say in the matter. I like to think that the rules are black and white and Dr. Bob has no choice when it comes to blocks.sure. i like to think that a computer could be programmed to make civility determinations... but apparantly there is actually (another) technical worry there that has something to do with the math (yeech). sigh. he is a human being and he ain't perfect. we make mistakes, he makes mistakes, everybody makes mistakes. maybe that isn't fair... but that is like and sometimes life isn't fair.
> Some people aren't so good at supporting others. I want them to feel like they matter too.sure. they DO matter. but it should be said that if everybody here took support all the time and nobody offered it then people would stop coming here. some people offer support to others fairly consistently... fairly reliably... sometimes i think those are the people who really hold the boards together. keep people coming back. i mean... if you didn't get supportive responses then would you still be here?
> Making the scarf for Bob makes me happy and I don't want to stop doing it.i understand. it can be rare to feel so happy and when i feel happy like that i just want to do whatever i need to do to keep the feeling around. i understand that. i do. but you can enjoy doing that. you can. actually giving it to him on the day can be a different story though. sometimes i do things... when i'm trying to get into work or something. i remember one of my t's and think about how proud she would feel of me (or something) if i can just get into this. i don't know. but i do understand. i'm sorry if i said anything painful.
> It's only laden with symbolism for me. I just want Bob to see it as a scarf.though it is probably going to be a little hard for him to do that after reading on the boards just how much symbolism you are loading into it...
therapists have to think about this when it comes to gifts too... some therapists have a (black and white) rule about not accepting gifts period. others will under certain circumstances. etc.
i guess the main reason i wanted to say this stuff is because... he might have a policy on not accepting gifts... which has NOTHING WHATSOEVER TO DO WITH HIM REJECTING YOUR LOVE. thats all i'm getting at.. he said he didn't really want you to do that... he could be a bit awkward if you try and give it to him (especially since he does indeed appreciate what it symbolises) and then he has to decide whether to go with what he said already (and he does seem to value consistency as do you) only the trouble is you might get all upset and feel really rejected... or he could just take it... in which case what... you will feel all happy... and be talking about how you have given him a gift to symbolise your love... and then what? other posters get the presents rolling in?
i don't know... i don't know what he is supposed to to. and i don't understnad how this can come to anything good...
> > I think you should talk to your t about this...
> I'll try to remember to bring it up.mmm. might be worth thinking whether it is worth trying to give it to him... i guess i'd be thinking bout that. don't get me wrong... enjoy making it. really. think of him as you are making it. whatever. but do it for you and enjoy it for you.
i dunno. maybe i'm just harming.
i'm sorry if i'm hurting.
hope others can jump in
> > But I think maybe he has become... Something along the lines of... How you might have viewed your father when you were a little kid?
> Maybe, I don't know.well i guess you are the only one who would know. how did you feel about your father when you were a little kid? do you remember?
poster:special_k
thread:626907
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060317/msgs/627211.html