Posted by alexandra_k on January 8, 2006, at 19:20:35
In reply to Re: Larry's Block and a civil atmosphere » alexandra_k, posted by Gabbix2 on January 8, 2006, at 17:49:46
> Do you think that its some sort of mindless energy that simply needs to be released and so it's done in the direction of Dr. Bob?
> I don't think it is.displacement.
i dunno. just thinking really...
> I really don't understand why you think punishment in this case is helpful.well... i guess 'punishment' has negative connotations for many of us. because... it was administered erratically. because... it was too severe (abusive) etc. but technically speaking the point of punishment is to decrease the probability of that behaviour being repeated. not just by the person who was 'punished' but the rest of the forum learns vicariously too...
> This isn't education, it's punishment.
it is an attempt to show the community that it is not appropriate to say that someone is 'manipulative', 'playing games', and 'making me sick' yeah. that is what it is. the aim being... a reduction (or cessation) of people saying those things.
and i guess it is up to us to have a think about how helpful / harmful it may or may not be to endorse those thoughts...
> This is a real community to many and so being excommunicated can be devastating.
i know blocks hurt :-(
they hurt me a great deal :-(
but i guess i hope...
that i learn from them.
and i guess i hope...
that they prevent me harming someone else.
and that if i do harm someone else in that way...
that there will be consequences for me which shows the person i hurt...
that what i said to them was inappropriate.> I don't agree with, in principal calling people manipulative. I think it can give people the idea that it's okay to shoot off to anyone who annoys them, or who's behaviour they do not understand.
right.
> In the case of Larry and deneb they had a relationship, it wasn't a case of getting fed up and spouting off.
hmm...
i don't think i'd take it that way.
if you called me manipulative...
i'd be hurt and pissed off.
even though i know you are my friend.
i would be hurt and pissed off.
i might start to doubt my own intentions...
i might start to see my behaviour in that way...
i might...
hurt more because of it.other people reading the boards don't necessarily know anything about larry and deneb's relationship either.
they just see the words.
and whether those words were considered acceptable or not...
> A simple reminder to Lar to be careful, and letting him know what it could look like to others, would have been more than sufficient.
> Dr. Bob has done that for others who have insulted each other but obviously have an understanding between them.does he tend to do that less when people have racked up a number of blocks?
i don't know.
to me...
it was the you are making me sick comment.
sorry but...
i don't think that is appropriate
i do not.
> What's the point of a 6 week block? Is it Because those are the rules? Is it because "I'm doing it this way because this is the way I do it?"maybe it is about the blocking system... this is the way the blocking system goes... thus people can predict that if they get blocked again this is the block length they are facing...
you would think people would learn to be more careful when they appreciate that their next block could be the same (if they are lucky) and that it is mroe likely to be doubled or tripled.
> Maybe people are upset because they know how much it can hurt, and because hurting Lar doesn't help the situation at all.
i don't think the point of delivering a block as a consequence is to hurt larry.
i don't.
i think the point is to deliver a fairly predictable consequence for saying what he said.
so we know that if we say that...
we will get blocked too.
hence if you don't want to get blocked...
then don't say it.
so the point in delivering the punisher...
is so that people won't say that to one another on the forums.
or they will say them less than they would if there wasn't a punisher after his having said that.thats how blocks benefit the forums as a whole.
because we are all supposed to learn that that is not appropriate.
and if peopple didn't say those kinds of things...
the forum would be more supportive than if people did say those kinds of things...> As Dr. Bob always says "Two wrongs don't make a right"
i don't see how larry was wronged...
> And maybe blocking people for infractions like swearing, and messing up wording when one is overwrought.. on a board for the mentally ill, is a bit like opening a hospital for Anorexics and kicking them out on their as* if they skip dinner.
in dbt you have to committ to working towards reduction of SI.
SI is typically the problem, yes.
but if you do not commit to working on reducing it then you are kicked out of dbt.
if our mental health issues makes us prone to lashing out at others...
then i guess we can make a committment to learning more appropriate ways of behaving...
or we can persist...
let the blocks stack up...
get blocked for lengthy periods of time.yup.
> You yourself called me manipulative..
?
did i?> "Gabbi only asks me not to post to her because she doesn't like it when I disagree with her and wants me to shut up"
can you give me the context there?
i do believe there was a greater context of my saying that i was struggling with how to see your request...
that that was how i was seeing it...
that i appreciated that wasn't so helpful...
and that i was trying to hit upon a more charitable way.
which i do believe people helped me with.> Amazingly nothing happened, and you know what? I lived through it.
maybe because i was trying to hit upon a more charitable interpretation?
maybe because... i accepted a more charitable interpretation once i found one?
poster:alexandra_k
thread:596575
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20051205/msgs/596767.html