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Re: Declan » alexandra_k

Posted by zeugma on January 6, 2006, at 22:31:37

In reply to Re: Declan, posted by alexandra_k on January 6, 2006, at 21:13:15


it's a matter of judgement. whether what larry said was true. it seemed to me (and for this i will get blocked, but no matter) that they were trying to manipulate each other. i believe deneb was trying to get larry to help her. larry tried to get her to help herself.

i don't like to manipulate people. i do it, in the course of my job, and i stay up too late feeling terrible about it. no matter that the manipulations i engage in are pettier, more ignoble than the ones we are discussing. my own conscience is wracked. if we pretend that 'manipulative' is value neutral (like say, orange) then i hate manipulativeness the way i hate orange- just an unreasoning aversion to it. i hate it more in myself than others. i don't know why that is. a quirk.

i think sometimes the only manipulations i engage in are those for my personal gain. if i knew how to persuade someone from jumping off a building, i would probably save myself the trouble and walk away. and we are all irritated by do-gooders.

and i don't like to manipulate others. and i understand why manipulating another can maake the other physically sick. that is my reaction to being manipulated. and to manipulating others. that's why i don't do it, unless it benefits me and isn't too much trouble. for this my conscience keeps me up too late.

time for bed.

-z


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