Posted by Shortelise on November 27, 2005, at 20:22:29
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by alexandra_k on November 27, 2005, at 16:56:33
Here I am again, glad to find this discussed here.
It really is a loaded subject because for so many this falling in love with T's happens, we know T's should be ready for it, and know how to deal with it. It scares the bejeesus out of me, for one, that there might be T's out there - some too close for comfort? - who aren;t able to deal with it in a healthy therapeutic manner. I too don't read a lot of this stuff, in fact, lately I've had little to say on the psychology board, in large part because of this endless thing.
It's funny, when I think of it, I've thought that my T hated me, was disgusted by me, was tired of me, found me boring, shallow, etc., but never once has it entered my mind that he might be in love with me. He is not. Nor am I with him, though I feel attached and ... glad of him. I am very glad of him. There is no other way I can put it that expresses it as close to how I feel it.
I honestly think that Lipgloss, Voce, and both of you wrote very important things to think about. And Bob is in a delicate position. I don't know what I'd do in his position. It's important for me to get another perspective sometimes - I need to tell what's going on and have others tell me how it looks to them. It's a kind of "reality check" that I need. And when I see someone doing what appears to me to be scary, headed for pain behavior, it's hard not to say anything. That's why I don't read those posts.
A-k, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive yourself about what happened (what you did) at age 14. Honey, if it hadn't been you, it would have been someone else. And at 14, we think we know, but we don't know. As far as I am concerned, if it had been my husband, I would never, ever have blamed a young girl. Not ever.
ShortE
poster:Shortelise
thread:582727
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20051013/msgs/582813.html