Posted by alexandra_k on July 29, 2005, at 21:22:18
In reply to Re:Another idea » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on July 29, 2005, at 4:45:31
I guess it is because Dr Bob provides the boards for us to give and receive support from one another. I don't think any one person could provide all that much support to all the posters here. People vary with respect to how much time they have. How much energy they have. How they are feeling. It isn't part of Dr Bob's role here to provide support to the posters. His role is more to moderate the boards in such a way as to facilitate our supporting each other. If he were to step in to provide support then that could lead to a couple of undesirable things:
- people might come to turn to Dr Bob for support rather than the other posters.
- there wouldn't be enough time in the day for Dr Bob to be able to offer support to every poster who wants it from him.
- i don't think anyone would have the energy to be able to do this consistently to all the posters here.
- that would mean that he would have to be selective...
- and that would mean that more people would perceive favouritism and end up disgruntled.
- that more people would be disgruntled if they didn't receive support from him when they had come to expect it.
- if he encourages people to expect support from him then if he doesn't provide it he might well be more responsible for their bad feelings...> I think there are those here, myself included, who will never be persuaded that walking away and leaving others to take care of the wounded is ok because the responsibility is diffused and they don't have to.
I don't feel a sense of obligation to post anymore. I am trying to accept that sometimes I can't figure out what to say that might help. In those cases... I figure its best for me to not say anything. Maybe someone else will do better than I was able. And most often... When I manage to accept that I'm not obliged to do anything then something useful occurs to me. Life can be funny like that sometimes.
> How about people look to gather examples of situations where support is given without escalation of the drama triangle, or without making a second wrong. I'll bet lots of people can remember their own favorite example of being impressed by someone managing to do that.
> Then you can look at them all and come up with a list of suggestions or even just a list of links, that you can offer to people for guidance when they don't wish to ignore someone feeling hurt, but do wish to intervene in a "legal" way if possible.Or maybe we can suggest posters look at that...
> I understand your desire to do as little as possible, and I think your wish to remain as little a part of what goes on here other than as an administrator is both... Well, ok. I was going to validate a bit here, but honestly I think it's sort of a loss to us Babblers and maybe to you as well. But I do understand it as well.I think...
That the more he says
The more involved he gets
The harder it would be to remain a rock or anchor or whatever.
If we gained Dr Bob as a poster
Then we would lose him as a relatively solid / objective moderator who does his best to act in the interests of the boards as a whole.
I do wonder...
Whether he is ever tempted to join up as a poster and have a vent about some of the crummier aspects of his life...
But anyway...
I think that if he were to get more involved then there would be even more people getting upset by perceiving favouritism etc.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:531449
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050728/msgs/535445.html