Posted by Tamar on July 10, 2005, at 12:09:44
In reply to Lou's reply to Tamara-nam?B » Tamar, posted by Lou Pilder on July 10, 2005, at 11:35:13
Hi Lou,
You asked an honest question and I think it deserves an honest answer. I hope that’s OK.
> You wrote,[...if anyone finds it difficult to read your posts...its better not to read...].
> Are you saying, then, that it is {my name}in the subject line that could have someone think ahead of time that they could {...find it difficult to read...} and thearfore not read any post with my name as the poster?Yes, I do think that scenario is possible. A person who finds that they react to your posts by becoming angry and replying in an uncivil way might decide that it is in their own best interests and yours not to read posts with your name in the subject line.
I have experienced this in the past: not with you and not at Babble, but with the posts of someone else on a completely different forum. I disagreed with that person profoundly and always became angry when I read his posts, and I found myself replying in a manner that was somewhat rude to him and made me look aggressive and mean.
I found it almost impossible to read his posts without replying because they triggered powerful feelings. My feelings were so strong that I didn’t know how to put it all in perspective and refrain from replying. And my replies were not very polite. So I thought that it was best both for me and for him if I didn’t read his posts any more.
My point is that it was my own anger that was the problem. The other person was well-liked and well-respected. When I stopped reading his posts it was because I couldn’t seem to control my emotional reactions to his views.
I think it’s possible that people here might want to avoid posts with my name in the subject line. Some people might find my posting style pompous and didactic. I would rather they ignored me than yelled at me.
Having said all that, I still don’t think Dr Bob’s suggestion about not reading referred specifically to your posts. And I don’t think that it should in any way be interpreted as a means of shunning you. I hope no one here would shun you. I think the suggestion not to read should be interpreted as advice to people to be aware of their emotional reactions and to take whatever action is appropriate to ensure that they refrain from incivility, whether towards you or towards anyone else.
Best wishes,
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:525619
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050628/msgs/525764.html