Posted by 10derHeart on April 13, 2005, at 9:19:02
In reply to Dr. Bob, you overstepped the boundaries, posted by Shy_Girl on April 12, 2005, at 18:46:15
Hi Shy Girl,
I'm glad you posted this. It makes for an good discussion.
> I think you should have known better than to give your opinion or suggest anything indicative of your opinion (on non admistrative issues). This in my opinion is much cause for concern, since it has a small chance of leading to some sort of relationship with you...real or imagined. Your liberal use of emoticons can also lead others to form a relationship with you in some way.<
I, too, was surprised Dr. B posted that, as it is a little bit beyond what he usually does. But, I disagree with you that it's a problem. I gave it some thought, and I figured maybe he was just "pushing" the process along a little. What I mean is, with the depth and variety of knowledge of the posters here, BDD surely would have been brought up sooner or later, by someone. I even thought of it, having read of it, but didn't post the person in question, for reasons I don't recall now. Not sure why that time he did that, only Dr. Bob could say, but he is a human being, prone to impulse from time to time, like all of us. Seems like it was a passing on of information, not the offering of a clinical opinion at all, to me.
I get the basis of your concern, but I think maybe it's an unreasonable standard to apply. If he must guard against both real AND imagined relationships...well, how could he, really? Real is one thing, and I think he's scrupulously careful, 99% of the time, not to interact in any ways that could lead to that. But imagined is a bit different. For example, he's posted "thanks" to me, once, I think, and another time, maybe something like, "good point." From those, I suppose I could start to think I had a relationship with him. But it wouldn't be real at all, by anyone's way of measuring, and would be something I'd have to deal with and learn from, here and IRL if it spilled over there. Anyone can build up a relationship in their mind, perhaps one they'd like to have, or haven't had, from the tiniest things. (I know, I've done it) But I don't think the answer is for others to severly restrict their behavior out of fear that might happen. Maybe especially on a mental health forum, I think the bits of common ground, i.e., humanity, humor, using emoticons etc., Dr. B allows himself, makes for smoother interactions. Maybe helps people from feeling so much like, "gee, is this guy for real...or just a machine/robot?"
> To make the administration role more administration and even less interactive, perhaps the role of moderator should be given to more than one person...who can then post using the name "Dr. Bob".
I think he has already decided not to do this. It's specifically mentioned in the FAQs where it talks about deputies. I'm glad. To me, that would be strange and disingenuous. I would really hate not knowing *who* was really speaking. But you should feel free to try to change his mind on that by posting about it - just as you are!
> I read one post a little while back that suggested that you have interfered with suicide attempts before by contacting their ISP. I think that is a VERY BIG MISTAKE. Again, if you are unwilling to witness or have someone on the boards "commit" suicide...then I think you are not fit to be a true moderator. I appologize for being harsh. This is not personal.
Are you saying part of Dr. Bob's role must be, in your opinion, to be willing to "witness" someone commit suicide? I don't understand that. Can you explain your reasoning any more? There's been a huge discussion on how this should/could be handled (better), back in March (the thread you read, probably), and I think it was thoughtful and open about how difficult an area this is. But I'm not sure there was much disagreement that if someone's statements, in Dr. Bob's opinion, are beyond ideation, he may decide to use his info on their ISP to try to get IRL help to them. Why do you object to this, I'm wondering? I'm not sure how he would deal with suicidal posters - ethically, morally, humanly - without having some policy that aimed to TRY to get them IRL help in the most extreme cases. It's a fine line, and something most pdocs have to find a way to walk anyway.
Could you say what you think an alternative policy for this site on suicidal posters would look like? That would help me understand better.
poster:10derHeart
thread:483475
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050323/msgs/483673.html