Posted by jujube on November 8, 2004, at 12:38:11
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob, could you explain me this, posted by Sad Sara on November 7, 2004, at 9:24:17
It is a delicate situation, no matter what situation you are in. However, respect is a two-way street. If a student (or a colleague, friend, family, etc.) expects to be treated with respect, then that individual must learn how to return that respect. Although the situation is different, as a manager, I have had a number of situations where one employee feels they have been wronged or treated disrespectfully by another employee. I have trained my staff now to try first to resolve their own conflicts. I don't want to end up in a situation where I have had to intervene, only to have the two employees resenting each other for running to the boss. I advise each employee to take a few minutes or even a day and then to approach the other and talk calmly and rationally to the other and explain how their actions or words made them feel. This approach has worked incredibly well. I am informed so I know what is going on in terms of conflicts, but the employees have always risen to the occasion and worked things out among themselves and suprisingly have continued to work extremely well together.
All the long-windedness is to say that pointing out to someone how their behaviour affected you (and could affect others, and the person's relationships with others in the future), once you have had a chance to step back from the situation and put it into perspective, can not only be therapeutic, but also remedial.
It amazes me how society, at times, has become so self-centered, not thinking about how words and actions affect others. You, actually, as an educator, are in a unique position to shape young minds. You have an opportunity to instill some, in my opinion, long-forgotten values - respect, compassion, manners, etc.
If you are concerned about approaching the student, could you perhaps discuss the situation with the principal and explain what approach you want to take in dealing with the student? It might give you some peace of mind to have some support before proceeding.
Whatever you decide to to, I wish you luck.
Tamara
> True
> The tricky thing about gentle questioning is that you might make the other one feel trapped, which also can create negative feelings about oneself...
>
> To be really extreme, that is.
poster:jujube
thread:412635
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20041027/msgs/413306.html