Posted by alexandra_k on November 6, 2004, at 17:35:42
In reply to Dr. Bob, could you explain me this, posted by Sad Sara on November 6, 2004, at 16:33:10
> I see that you PBC someone who writes this:
> "I don't think that peoples attempts to explain their feelings to you have been well received".
> Can you please tell me a civil way to tell someone that their way of responding to someone elses feelings is not a respectful way of reacting? I think it is important to be able to tell someone when he is acting in a disrespectful way to someone elses explanation of how they feel about something.Hi Sara. The quote was from my post and it generated quite a discussion regarding how it was uncivil and that led to a clarification of the civility rules.
I guess that by considering what I said to be a way of 'telling someone when they are acting in a disrespectful way' I am a bit clearer on how it wasn't really civil after all. I didn't mean to accuse the person of acting in a disrespectful way, rather I intended to express my opinion that others felt hurt because they felt like their feelings weren't being heard and that that was (in my opinion) responsible for others responding to the person by attacking or withdrawing.
I think that the person feeling hurt by the statement was what led to the PBC. I couldn't think of a rephrasing either. But maybe sometimes it is best to just back off and leave it be.
Especially when many have gone before.
I don't know what else to say.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:412635
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20041027/msgs/412655.html