Posted by Mark H. on October 29, 2004, at 14:14:19
In reply to Re: Why are so many people upset, posted by Dr. Bob on October 27, 2004, at 5:18:47
Dear Dr. Bob,
I have been giving a lot of thought to your reply. While some group process may be at work here, I am discouraged by the language of the article you chose to cite as a possible example.
First and foremost, I certainly do not “hate or fear” Lou Pilder, and I would be surprised to learn if anyone in our community actually does.
I like Lou Pilder. When he is posting from his heart, I see an outpouring of intelligence, humor, a wealth of life experiences, and a capacity for caring and support. There are times that I ache with longing for Lou to recognize how many friends he has here, including most of us whom he has asked not to post to him in the last month. Being Lou’s friend doesn’t mean that we will always support his behavior or point of view, and disagreeing with his behavior or point of view does not mean that we “hate or fear” him.
Second, I think it is safe to say that *no one* wants their posts to be singled out and held up for public scrutiny and administrative review by *anyone.* This is the part I think you (and Lou) don’t fully appreciate. The damage is done by the implication of the “request for determination” itself, regardless of whether you subsequently decide the complaint was unfounded or not. This is the source of much of the unnecessary conflict we experience in this on-line community.
That is why I am suggesting you impose a three per month per person limit on “requests for determination.”
Sincerely,
Mark H.
poster:Mark H.
thread:407621
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20041027/msgs/408798.html