Posted by gardenergirl on October 10, 2004, at 23:44:34
In reply to Re: I didn't read any.---gardenergirl, posted by newwife on October 9, 2004, at 23:57:36
Hi newwife,
Thanks for asking about my post. I'm not sure I can explain it any better than I did the other night, cause it's late at night again and I'm not at full capacity, but I'll do my best.It was mainly an academic discussion with Dinah, and I'm sorry for taking your thread on a tangent. But Dr. Bob's response to you about whether you would actually force a guest to leave reminded me of a therapy technique I was taught (although apparently not well enough to get the name for it) :). It is used when you want to have a person further explore a statement they made that appears extreme or irrational. It kind of gets them to argue the other side a bit. What it takes, though, is a kind of innocent, deadpan questioning that is hard to pull off, which is what I meant by "playing stupid." It's not a good way to refer to it, I suppose, because I don't mean to appear manipulative. It's just that I usually know in advance that the person didn't really mean exactly what their statement appeared to have said. I'm talking in therapy here.
For example, if Dr. Bob was using such a technique in his response to you...and I'm not saying he was...then he might have been exaggerating or as Miss Honeychurch (I think) said, extending your statement to the almost ridiculous. This gets you to say, "Of course I don't force them to leave. That would be terrible." or something like that. So the technique gets the person to have an almost knee-jerk reaction that is different from what they first said in some way. This allows you as the therapist to explore what they really meant. For example, you might wish you could force the annoying hotel guests to leave in some hidden part of yourself, or even openly. But you know that realistically, you can't do that and stay in business. But having the opportunity to explore and express that wish in a therapeutic environment can be helpful.
Now, Babble is not a therapy environment, and Dr. Bob does not practice therapy here. And I'm quite certain he was not practicing therapy with you. Which could be why I perceived sarcasm in his post. So I was just using your exchange with him, and Dinah's response to my post as a springboard for a discussion that probably would have been better in it's own thread. Again, I am sorry for interrupting your thread, as I can tell you are quite serious and genuine in your feelings here.
BTW, I admire how you worked hard on your post before posting it. I tend to just post, and then sometimes wish I could go in and edit. So, even though Dr. Bob did not agree with you, good for you for putting in the effort.
Hope this helps explain what you were asking about.
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:400856
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040927/msgs/401385.html