Posted by Shar on August 6, 2004, at 16:02:34
In reply to Re: Chuckle, posted by Kali Munro on August 6, 2004, at 14:48:39
>So, then to answer the question, in this context, the answer would be to notify Bob?
Yes, you are probably right. However, posters can be hurt badly by another's cruel post, and the one who does the hurting may or may not get a 'please be civil' or be blocked -- it would depend on how the cruel post was worded. It might be considered just fine, if properly worded. Yet, the damage (the hurt) has already been inflicted.
And the hurtee has no recourse except to say 'I feel hurt' or notify Bob (who may not find the cruel post to be cruel) when I think it would be wonderful for people to be able to stand up for themselves, be able to express anger in a reasonable, assertive manner--just as one might do in real life.
Folks here, who are already not at their peak performance levels, and some who have been severely traumatized--in my humble opinion--need to be empowered to protect themselves; not to be expected to 'stuff it' when that may be exactly what they are trying to learn not to do.
But that's just my 2 cents. Dinah has a good bead on the verbal gymnastics required to post here.
Now, in order to try not to get a PBC myself, let me qualify this by saying I'm speaking only hypothetically, and that everything I've said can be rightly ignored and discounted fully. No harm was meant to anyone, and I love everybody deeply and wish everybody well, even the people I don't know yet.
Shar
> >>>>We're allowed to say "I feel hurt when I read your post." We are not allowed to say "I feel your post was hurtful" or "I feel the contents of that post were hurtful". I'm not sure about "I feel hurt *by* your post." It's verbal gymnastics that requires that we take total responsibility for our feelings in our remarks, and does not allow for the reference to the post or poster to be in any way negative.>>>>>
>
> I see. Thanks for that clarification. :)
>
> I imagine the concern with commenting on someone's post is that it how one experiences a post is open to interpretation. What one member might find hurtful, another might not. The thinking is that you may have *felt* hurt reading the post but the post isn't necessarily hurtful. I agree with that to a point -- given we all perceive things from our own perspectives bringing our histories and experiences to everything we read -- although at some point the content crosses a line and is viewed as hurtful or uncivil but, from what I'm hearing, members are asked not to comment on that and leave it to Bob to make that call. So, then to answer the question, in this context, the answer would be to notify Bob?
>
> Kali
poster:Shar
thread:373586
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040717/msgs/374787.html