Posted by Dr. Bob on February 12, 2004, at 4:23:26
In reply to As a male..I hear ya..other comments... » Phil, posted by jay on February 11, 2004, at 21:19:09
> Whether you believe this or not, I feel tremendous gratitude and love for you, no matter your shortcomings. Whether I'm wrong or right isn't important to me but it is important to me to say that I do care. If I didn't love this place, I wouldn't have stayed.
Thanks, Phil :-) I appreciate that. You've contributed a lot over a long time, and I'm glad you're back. And plenty of others are, too.
> I know more than a few people here, men and women, feel they have been hurt badly by DR Bob's actions.
I realize people have been hurt by actions I've taken, and I'm sorry about that, but that wasn't my intent. I'd like to try to work something out, and I appreciate it when you and others are willing to give it another try, thanks.
> Zenhussy was banned for 6 months and I got banned for two weeks because I knew she wanted help. Did she and I post uncivilly, yes. My depression is 95% anger and I must be careful. But if I feel a good friend has been hurt by being banned, and I know it hurt me the times I've been banned, then I'm not being true to myself to forgive and forget.
I think it's great for people to support each other. That is, after all, the idea here. Even if it puts us in opposition at times.
> I was deeply disappointed, DrBob, when you were going to use sar's story in a report or speech , I'm not sure of the context but I think you were wondering aloud if you should contact her parents, or someone brought that up to you. You said something to the effect of. well, she signed off here so I don't think I will... I think her parents and sister would have had a great chance to grieve if you humbly called and introduced yourself and said, I am truly sorry for the loss of your daughter.
I am in fact truly sorry, but I have no idea what their needs are or how they would respond to being called.
> > I know I personally wouldn't confess to being treated unfairly if I wanted to stay... Just a thought...
>
> Did you hear what you just said? To stay on this board you would pretend to be okay when you actually believed otherwise. I'm trying to cut through a boatload of denial by people here that watch great people leave and say, Well, Dr Bob's the boss. Better keep my mouth shut or he'll get me next. People have been hurt here and to turn away and ignore it is the problem.
>
> PhilMaybe on Mars it's more important to speak out, even if that means conflict? Whereas on Venus it may be more important to get along, even if that means keeping something to oneself?
Confrontation isn't the only way to show support or to address problems. And keeping something to oneself is different than believing otherwise.
Civility has to do with getting along, so it may be more Venus than Mars...
----
> I feel you are right...that a lot of guys don't speak up for fear of being "canned".
Well, I'm all for thinking twice before posting...
> The Stats board doesn't lie...just look at the shear numbers of people who come and go. For Even to anyone who has hung around in a year, this feels more like a busy airport than a even a "loose knit" community.
>
> JayI agree, wouldn't it be nice if there were some boards that felt more like small towns than busy airports? :-)
Bob
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:311911
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040112/msgs/312340.html