Posted by Kacy on November 5, 2003, at 10:58:16
In reply to Re: What can other people do » Dr. Bob, posted by sienna on November 4, 2003, at 22:29:15
Maybe this is why Dr. Bob doesn't want to give step-by-step instructions. (Just hypothesizing.)
Giving other people specifics for how to go about expressing remorse or understanding (or other things along that line) is the same as telling them "Say this, then say this, then say… and then you can post again sooner." Even making a list like "show contrition, show understanding, show awareness, and so on" just tells people what to mimic or type up.
Sometimes people can cover a lot of area with a simple statement while other people need to write and write (or talk and talk) before they get their points out. The difference in those can be the difference in some of us. Some think and then find a way to express it. That might be short or long. Some talk and talk and find meaning (and even figure themselves out) while they are talking. Those people may end with a real point, even though nothing they said all along the way seemed to add up to that point.
In addition to the above, all of us use the tools we have to figure things out. You measure people by what you understand or by what you have come to believe is a fair measure. I understand different things than you, but may well come to the same conclusion you do. I may not. I absolutely, though, am not going to give anyone my hot buttons so they can hit them. We all guard those. We have to.
This forum is a gift. It looks like it's run by someone who could have a better life without all the work of watching over this site. Has anyone else seen another forum on any topic that disappeared because it wasn't worth the hassle to the webmasters? I have, and it's strange how when one disappears into thin air, I feel its absence.
We take a lot for granted on the web. We've been provided a lot for a long time for free. This particular place even has no advertising at all. (Geez–I called it a place. Sites do seem to become places, though.) I don't think websites can be run perfectly to suit everyone. If you feel a lot of conflict about it, maybe you could try seeing it as a half-empty glass that's worth having.
poster:Kacy
thread:273904
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20031008/msgs/276816.html