Posted by galkeepinon on October 5, 2003, at 19:35:45
In reply to Re: apologies » galkeepinon, posted by Tabitha on October 5, 2003, at 17:34:15
Tabitha, I understand. I will be blunt here too, as well as completely honest, and this is where I'm coming from:
To believe people and yes, even people I meet online' care about me, is something I still, today, have a very hard time comprehending, so I guess when you say 'Standing by helplessly watching someone you care about kill themself is one of the worst experiences life can offer.'~I have no doubt that it is, and even to hear you say that now, that you AND others did care about me then, is hard for me to accept. Not at all that I don't believe you, but because at that time, and still in the present, I don't feel worthy of anyone caring about me. It's obvious from recent posts the last few months, and I'm working on it. My depression gets really bad sometimes, not that it is an excuse at all!!, however that's the best way I can explain it to you with what I have right now. That's the only way I can explain it. I even told Bob that I spent the whole month of May of this year in the hospital for a total medication change, because yes indeed something wasn't right, and it hurt people here. I never wanted to hurt anyone by saying what I did, but I did, and all I can do is say I'm sorry, because I am. I can't go back and change what happened, all I have is right now.
As far as a hoax, I wanted to die, as far as posting as my father, yes I admit that I did~ABSOLUTELY unacceptable, it was never done out of maliciousness, it was done out of a cry for help, and I went about it the wrong way, the very wrong way~I understand that now.
I am very sorry that you were affected and I hope that you can feel better and not hold on to the hurt anymore about what happened, for you.
I'm sorry Tabitha,
Take care> >
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> Well I'm going to speak bluntly here. It's not your emotions that caused trouble. What I remember is when someone posted saying they were your dad and claimed you had attempted suicide and were in a coma, then later we were told that you were fine and in fact it was you posting as your dad.
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> I can tell you, that hurt me and a lot of other people. Standing by helplessly watching someone you care about kill themself is one of the worst experiences life can offer. To think that someone would perpetuate a suicide hoax here, and inflict that helpless feeling on us, apparently out of malicious or careless intent-- is about the worst thing I can imagine doing in a community like this.
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> I still feel angry remembering those events. If that was you who did that, an admission and apology might help people welcome you back. If not, an explanation is needed to clear up the mistrust.
poster:galkeepinon
thread:265526
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20030808/msgs/265774.html