Posted by wendy b. on November 26, 2002, at 22:11:18
In reply to Re: only a PBC » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on November 26, 2002, at 4:53:08
Dinah,
I agree with everything you've said here, and you've made a very strong argument for why these posts should be deleted. And I think we might want to wonder what is going on with Bob when he is so blatantly inconsistent. Why would ANYone want those comments about Gabbi (whose posts and humor I enjoy and appreciate very much) to stay up for public viewing? It's really not nice or fair to leave them like that...
> Dr. Bob, I understand your reluctance to delete posts. However, I also know that you do so when you think a thread has gotten out of hand. In my opinion, that entire thread was out of hand from the first post by alphamale and should be deleted starting with his first post.
>
> I hesitate to bring additional attention to a thread that I find rather upsetting. I don't believe that anyone who reads this board could possibly see any of it as falling within the civility guidelines, so I'm not sure that it serves any purpose in clarifying limits.Absolutely. We don't really need a guide to know when comments are beyond the pale (slanderous, accusatory, misogynistic)...
>I don't see how leaving it up helps anyone, and it hurts everyone involved. Indeed, such an exchange can be upsetting even to the reader. For some reason, I have always felt safer on the board knowing that there were limits to what could be said. Leaving posts like these up while blocking posters for one week makes me feel a bit less safe here.
Anyone else want to chime in here? We've had several people worry about safety issues in the past (most recently judy1 when trouble brought up child abuse in the way that she did), and Bob has rushed in to say he's sorry, that he wouldn't want people to feel that way, that he's concerned about the site being a safe place. So, Bob: people are feeling unsafe (I'm sure Dinah and I aren't the only ones). What are you going to do?
> You've deleted posts before, and ones that were less inflammatory than these.Spoken by someone who has been around a long time, who knows the rules, and who mostly supports Bob's rules.
> I haven't been around long enough to know if there has been precedent for this personal sort of exchange on the board, but I don't believe it belongs on Psychobabble. (BTW, I doubt that anyone would object to being deprived of the ability to contribute to this particular process.)
>
> At the very least, could you blank out parts of all posts involved?
>
> Just my opinion, and I realize that others will have different ones.Not so different. Kindness and sympathy are valued here, by most people. And when Bob SAYS he believes one thing about civility, and then does another, I can't help but think he has some other agenda...
Leaving these posts is about as cruel (not quite) as the comments he left on the board about Sar's suicide (the ones that denigrated her - again, Dinah, I know how you feel, you don't want to bring up such unpleasantness, and I don't either, but we do need to discuss it...)Dinah, I appreciate your measured and careful response...
best,
Wendy
poster:wendy b.
thread:8314
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020918/msgs/8337.html