Posted by AMenz on June 16, 2001, at 0:25:27
In reply to Re: Being civil - my two-bits, posted by kiddo on June 15, 2001, at 2:18:51
I think the difficulty is in the medium. It is difficult to convey certain things in posts, humour, irony, etc. that makes certain comments in live conversation inoffensive. Yet the same comment can come across obnoxious in a post.
I know this has happened to me. In person I am pretty funny. Never comes across on posts, and in other forums I've said things that have sounded offensive without meaning. So don't feel too bad.
> I'm tired so please overlook the grammar/spelling.
>
> FWIW (For what it's worth-for those who don't know) I just wanted to give my opinion.
>
> I read the boards often, yet post seldom because I'm one of those 'ultra sensitive' people that can get hurt very easy. I often hesitate for the fact that I may have something taken the wrong way, or I may take a response the wrong way.
>
> In fact, I have cut and burned myself over such things. (not on this NG of course, but others-that was in the past though)
>
> There are things in posts (which I've taken wrong lately myself) that, in my opinion, can be completely different than what they seem.
>
> I may be having a really rotten day, respond to something less than civil, or take something out of context, insert my own emotions into a post that the author didn't mean at all.
>
> I just think that Doc maintains his 'walk the chalk, or hit the sidewalk' attitude on being civil because he looks out for people that may see things like me, and has kept a pretty low 'civil war fatalities' rate because of it.
>
> I take my privilege to post here as just that..... a privilege not a right, he doesn't make me use my real name, and he doesn't make it more difficult to be a part of the group than he could.
>
> I would hope that I'd be 'called on the carpet' for anything that may hurt someone else. I've been hurt too bad and too many times to cause it to someone else.
>
> Just my thoughts....
>
>
>
> > You make a good point, about people here being sensitive and may feel hurt easily. The "PBC" or please-be-civil is always after the fact, when someone may have already gotten hurt. I wonder if it would be good to have posts or discussions on dealing with this aspect of being "mental" -- such as what to do when someone is mean, or when feeling attacked, or having been aggressive with someone else.
> >
> > Shar
> >
> >
>
>
>
>
>
> > > > I agree with Cam. I'd also like to point out that while many people do have problems keeping their emotional reactions within "normal" limits, many people on this board are also extremely sensitive and it doesn't take much for them to feel very hurt. It's of overriding importance that they feel that this board is a safe haven. It's my observation that after you've been around for awhile and managed to behave yourself most of the time, DR. bob seems to cut a little slack. Sometimes I think his trigger finger is rather quick, but mostly I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.
> > >
> > > Mair
poster:AMenz
thread:927
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20010315/msgs/1424.html