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Complex Trauma

Posted by denise1904 on January 19, 2022, at 10:18:56

From the age of 17 I've never associated the symptoms of anxiety and depression I experienced with any kind of childhood trauma.

In my mind trauma is what happens to soldiers who have fought in wars and who have seen horrendous things or children who have been beaten, abused and neglected.

I remember such happy times as a child and never had any symptoms of depression until I hit 17, ironically when my life was stable.

Having said that, although I received so much love from my parents, especially from my mum, from the age of 7 or 8 there were problems at home, My mum was seeing other men, two of whom I saw her with and heard her talking to. Both parents out socialising separately, my Mum's night was a Thursday night and I used to dread it because she wouldnt come home until the early hours of the morning and I used to stand at the bedroom window sobbing because I was so scared she wouldn't come home. Then when my parents finally divorced when I was 10, we left my Dad and my friends and I went to live in a strange house, attended a strange school and lived with a strange, not very nice man (my mum's new partner).

I ultimately went to about 8 different schools, partly because my mum kept leaving and going back to this man. there were other things I wont go into but I did experience bullying quite a lot and the feeling that I wasn't really likeable. But at no time during this did I ever feel depressed. I was unhappy at times but I always new things would get better and that I could overcome things. No way did I ever feel like I have since I was 17 when things have been relatively stable. I still went home after a day of being oestrasized and bullied at school and still could lose myself in films, singing and reading books.

I recently started seeing a therapist who was recommended me and he seemed to think that my problems were related to complex childhood trauma and emotions that had never been processed properly. For my part it was a long shot and I duly sat there week after week rehashing the past but it really didn't seem to do me any good. If anything it seemed a bit self absorbed to keep harping on about problems in the past. I'm not quite sure how it was supposed to help.

I mean being bullied, obstrasized and feeling lonely seems pretty trivial compared to a Solider seeing people's body parts blown off or being burnt to death! Or an unwanted child who is physically and emotionally abused by his/her parents!

I'm just wondering what people's thoughts are on this? It seems lately, that the term trauma is being overused. A bit like the term "Narcissist" seems to me to be over used. I've noticed my friends talking about people they know who are Narcissists. In fact they seem to suddenly know an awful lot of them. I don't personally know anyone who I would consider to be narcissistic. but it's like they take a dislike to somebody and google search their traits and come up with the idea that they are narcissists.





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