Posted by novelagent on December 13, 2012, at 15:17:44
In reply to miserable at work vs miserable on disability, posted by alchemy on December 10, 2012, at 0:37:56
If you haven't tried Emsam, you're not finished yet. I tried seemingly everything for a year and s half of depression until I out of desperation bought selegiline from snti-aging systems.com in 2004. This was befor emsam got approved for the U.S, so you had to get it abroad.
They mailed it from s country my roommate says the U.S. State Dept. is not on speaking terms with. But it came in blister packs with sanofi-whatever pharmaceuticals, so I trusted it. I improved the same day without noticing it, although my two professors separately pointed out to the class I was smiling, In both classes, it was during a mentioning of something having to do with sexual devisnce of some sort, or something, I spaced out.
anyhow, after a week, It hi me: I hadn't craved sleep for the prior week. That was huge, Before then, I would crave going back to my bed while I was in class like it was heroin. I combined it with d,l-PA (phenylthalamine), which explains the sudden onset of efficacy.
The theory is DLPA ordinarily is metabolized so fast and used up after just s few minutes, it never quite has a chance to build up to levels sufficient to make much of sn impact as a supplement. But combine it with seligiline, and it is basically trapped in a closed loop a bit, and there's more of a chance for it to build up to levels that allow for noradeline, which Wellbutrin targets, and dopamine, which affects pleasure. I had anhedonia with my depression.
If you think you're miserable now, wait untik you're on disability, and you actually have even more time to brood over your depression. The best thing for depression, and the way to make it out, is to just lose yourself in something you can feel passionate about, or at least keeps you too busy for much introspection.
Have you tried volunteering after work? It can be very rewardingto help others, and you feel so good doing it, it's almost a selfish act. It certainly beats obsessing about your mood while on the Internet or TV (you in the plural sense; I speak from experience). The meds only go half way, so it sounds like you're trying to bet on a horse to finish that is only intended for a relay race.
Have you considered talking to a therapist about this? They can certainly tell you how f'ed up their disability benefits-receiving patients are. It would do you no favors. I'm on disability, but it's also a temporary thing for me, and I'm a full-time student, Once I have a degree, I have no intention of living off of $100 a week for all of my non-rent expenses (my $800 check goes straight to rent, and the $100 is charity from my family).
You'll have nothing to do, no incentive to try to get better by doing something useful, your depression will worsen, and you won't even be able to afford cable or eat out. And that's assuming you have Aflac and regular disability benefits from your employer and social security approves you after the standard 2 1/2 year wait. Also, it takes 2 years to get Medicare; before thst, you must rely on Medicaid, unless you have assets over $2000, which I think disqualifies you for Medicaid, I'm not sure, ask someone.
Good luck finding a psychiatrist who accepts Medicaid-- they don't exist. Same goes for Medicare, because Medicare has gotten bitchy to psychiatrists about reimbursements, and there's so much demand for patients who have insurance that reimburses more with less hassle, there's no incentive for docs to keep it. I'm in Massachusetts, which has an odd combintion of having the most psychiatrists per capita of any state, and also the hardest-to-book psychiatrists snywhere. Most don't accept insurance at all, and fees range from $200-$300 per 15 min appointments,
> Ive come close to applying for disability at work. It can be so hard to sit there, to think, to do anything. And then on friday i received a warning for my performance and days off. So i figured its time.
> Then a friend reminded me how bad i get when i dont have work to occupy some of my time. Having no motivation and watching the clock isnt the answer. There really isnt one.
> Maybe for the moment i should apply for short term disability because ive already been fired from my last 2 jobs. But i go coo-coo in a different way when im not working. what if i take a month, 2, or 3 off and come back to the same thing.
> And unfortunately it would not be acting as a period to "seek treatment" and get well. My pdoc said that i've basically finished the med game. There is nothing else to play. I am trying to find a new one, which may not amt to much.
> Advice? I go back and forth on the lesser of the two evils, but i may end up getting fired anyway.
> I suffer through work, come home and get thru the nite. Please dont tell me i need to find something i like to do. I want to want something to do! And when even people from a psych community tell me that, i feel like even more of a loser.
> Thanks.
poster:novelagent
thread:1032741
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20121130/msgs/1032962.html