Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on August 2, 2011, at 19:18:26
In reply to bullying 'addicts', posted by Christ_empowered on August 2, 2011, at 17:00:50
Yes, I am trapped in this state of mind that I am going to be always to be an addict. It's just the way I was taught at NA meetings because they explian how deadly addiction is but really when I think about it. It didnt bring me near death it brought me near very unpleasant experiences that I had when I abused presciption drugs and also pleasant expiences too that I wish I could recall. The thing is prescitions are NOT ment to make you feel better, there prescribed for medical reasons but many people abuse them to manipulate how they feel. It's easy, its effective, its done all the time. Where I have been is not that serious BUT everytime I ever say that In NA meetings they always say yes it was serious and your lucky your alive. It's not a big deal that I abused medications. The main publicity thing I ever had was my mother telling the doctor that I was abusing them and then she told the rest of the world. Many doctors started seeing me as a an addict. If I kept it undercontrol and never told anyone maybe that would of been a better choice. I suffer alot because I don't have the medications that I think I need but see there I go again with self prescibing things to change the way I feel. I have to be an addict because that's what they do. But also other people do this very thing everyday and its just not heard of because they don't tell.
I admit it. I don't think this is serious but the NA program has shown me I never have to use again. Alot of times I will google diffrent types of narcotics just for fun to see what the reviews of them are how they make you feel. I just have to get on with reality that I can't have these drugs that I want because I'm an addict. I am in the postion where I have very low resources for medications because my mother tells them not to prescibe them. And you know. I have to get on my own away from her but this has been around so long its very old to talk about with babble because I clearly didnt listen to people when they told me to get out of this place back around 2006-2007. People actually posted direct instructions on how to get out. And I should of listen to them but there is just so much things that I am scared of because my mother bullies me with medicaition. She won't even let me have pain pills for my tonsils being removed unless the doctor says its absolutly needed. This is my life like this and it is absolute sh*t. I have to live with this because I have tried so many times to argue and control things that I can't control. And I need a freind that will be there to come get me but my resources are limited. And I don't want to waste people's valuable time when they tell me to do something and I don't do it.
That's all.
But thank you for posting. Maybe you can give me advice on what to do about this, yet i don't want to waste you time by not listening and not taking action about the obstables that are in my way.
Matt
poster:rjlockhart04-08
thread:992604
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110728/msgs/992628.html