Posted by SLS on June 8, 2011, at 4:52:41
In reply to Have began to heal...Nardil is a miracle, posted by zonked on June 7, 2011, at 23:57:39
For now, don't touch a thing!
- Scott
> It doesn't look like my blip the other day was a fluke. The feeling Nardil gives me is absolutely distinct (this _feels_ like the last time; jedi and other Nardil vets I think will know what I mean), and it is beginning to be a little more consistent.
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> By no means I am cured I still am waking up more often than not with a sense of dread. I am still fighting depression. But if the gains I've had in the last week continue, I expect a complete recovery including a return to my previous vocation.
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> A little bit of my confidence has come back. There is music playing in the background - THAT is a really good sign! I'm enjoying it again at least SOME of the time.
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> No mistake about it, this is response, not remission. But I'll get there. Let's compare my depression to being stuck in a labyrinth underneath the earth. It's as if, until the Nardil, I have been wandering around, getting stuck, bumping my head into walls; and the dose of Nardil I am on now has led me to the escape staircase and allowed me to take three steps up towards the exit.
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> That's not a lot but MAN is that significant! With the right dose adjustments and the positively reinforcing behavior I hope will continue, I can make it out of the labyrinth again, hopefully never to return.
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> What needs to be done?
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> Meds: Increase dose until 1mg/kg is attained and
> medication benefits are at maximum and consistent. This response *must* be turned into a sustained remission.
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> (Strangely enough, 1mg/kg for me = 90.something milligrams, which is what worked for me my first time on this drug! Now *that* DEFINATELY *was* remission.)
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> I am doing my own form of exposure therapy (I guess)--some things I had been putting off for months I am beginning to do. Not without anxiety, but at least I am beginning to feel able to do more. Certainly more than a month ago. I even made dinner for myself and someone else tonight.
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> Why did I ever go off Nardil again? Oh yeah, the weight gain. Well, if it makes me fat again, I really don't care so long as it keeps my depression at bay...if that is the choice I have to make, I would rather be fat. Really. Better fat than dead!
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> I am probably about 15% back to normal now.
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> -z
Some see things as they are and ask why.
I dream of things that never were and ask why not.
poster:SLS
thread:987430
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110529/msgs/987444.html