Posted by floatingbridge on April 14, 2011, at 2:21:47
In reply to Re: Self-hatred: what's important? » hyperfocus, posted by Phillipa on April 14, 2011, at 0:13:02
hp, I hear you. I call these the unasked for lessons. Being kind and have moral integrity I think is possible with less suffering as well. I'm sure you know that, too. I know some fine people who do not have depression and can take hard knocks with greater resilience. I used to envy them, and really abuse them by using them to cruelly measure my self and be found wanting. Personally, I wish I didn't know
depression. I feel I had enough sensitivity as a child to have grown into a good person w/o suffering so much. I can't justify my suffering. It just is. It is without reason. It may have cause, but it's randomly assigned (note: this is a good moment and contradicts what I
wrote 12 hours ago :-/I found a book a few years ago that helped me out a a dark, envious space. One of practices cultivated 'sympathetic joy'. I can truly rejoice seeing a babbler reach recovery. I can be happy for a non-traumatised mum raising a less anxious child. This increases my own joy, erases some pain.
I agree, hp, that many folks here are good and kind and humble. And they practice one of the greatest identified Buddhist gifts: sympathetic joy.
Today purchased two self-help books; usually I avoid that aisle.
One is on anger. Norco or no norco, if I'm behaving like Ms. Crankypants, I'm the only one to stop it.
The second book is called "dropping the stone." Impulse buy. A slim volume on the 6th and 7th step. For any 12 steppers, you know the sixth step is to invite divine help to remove character flaws.
I'm rambling now. Thanks for posting hp. You post felt good to read and made me think.
I still would like you to happily dance at a strokes concert one day, and deeply rest in the peace that comes from knowing you are already alright. Wouldn't that be grand?
Warmly,
fb
*a rose by any name
poster:floatingbridge
thread:982743
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110406/msgs/982763.html