Cyndie,
I did get your note--I was pleased, not because you were unhappy (umm, understatement), but because you wrote.
I feel so horrible, and I lean on everyone around me--and thank the stars I have anyone--. So, I didn't write back. I'm, like, sliding down a steep hill grabbing at
branches, rocks, grass. Anything. Sounds like you know exactly.
Yeah. The kid. I went zero to 120 last night because my husband was taking his very polite, indirect way in dividing one
piece of wheat-free (because of me)
chocolate cake three ways. I didn't want any, but was 'showing up' at the table to keep up some standard of civil living for my child. It's late, almost his bedtime,
and DH gives him 1+ inches of xxx
chocolate fudge icing. Well, any joy in that moment I certainly ruined.
I've had to give up so much. Ways I wanted to spend time w/ my kid. Certain
limits enforced (like at least three hours should be alotted per pound of sugar consumed by anyone under the age of 9
before bedtime.... I still feel sorry for
myself. (Not because I left before cake was served :D .) Self-pity is ungrateful,
because all my DH was doing was being
kind to our son esp now that his nice lady mom needs restraints once a day. My son loves me, but is scared. That, now that, really feels like sh*t.
(For the record, I 'only' have apoplexy-
like fits. No name-calling, hitting, physical stuff.... It's more like, what?
You don't have your bathing suit?! And
on a dime I'm speed walking to the car
so hyper-aroused, that I know I won't be able to 'come down', drive home and
back to make swim lesson. I hate
this!!!!!!! He says, I know it's not because of me, but your 'arthritis'-- our household colloquialism for whatever the F is wrong with me. However, he feels it.
Cydnie, thanks for writing. So are some treatments beginning to help a little?
Jeez. I hope you feel improvement steadily. Big hugs.
Do you make use of books on tape for your wee one? Invaluable here. Sometimes too tired to read :(
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