Posted by violette on September 1, 2010, at 1:22:24
In reply to Re: disability, posted by olivia12 on August 30, 2010, at 19:32:19
Hi Olivia,
Thanks for sharing you anger and sadness with us. I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your husband. The children's emotional losses must add so much to your pain and abilities to manage their distress while having so much of your own? Of course children are very resilient as well, so don't forget that.
I suppose I think of the SSI situation similar to social safety nets in general. That 1 credit your husband was missing, seems ridiculous. I'll share with you that my child's father has been alive, but rarely contributed to supporting our child, just did not pay or help out but for one year at one point, about $50 a week...that didn't last long, then maybe a lump payment of a couple hundred a few years later, for example.
I had applied for food stamps and other help in the past, but always made sometimes just a few dollars over the monthly limit to qualify for anything. But strangely, I never gave it a second thought, just decided I had to work second jobs to support us..waitress, sales, whatever. This hurt my child as he was home alone alot. No one benefitted from the cutoff points used for social safety nets. Not even the taxpayers, imo. I also believe my prolonged situation added to my current mental health issues...and could have been prevented..i believe in the bio-psych-social model of mental illness so that's an opinion from my experience. My parents were doing just fine financially, but abandoned me before I was even an adult. So that was never an option.
One of the differences between you and I, perhaps, only in context of dealing with the outcome as our circumstances are of course much differnet-is that I never 'got angry'. I was in independent mode for so long "I need no one and can survive whatever!", that I just moved along, not giving the issues another thought...
That this did not have a good effect in the end. It actually worked against me; wish I had seen that now. What I am saying is that getting angry is a healthy thing to do...(of course this forum might have been the best venue of choice to initially discuss disability anger!)...
And I bet you will benefit in the long run from the actions you are taking today. Today I can get angry at 'systems', particularly politics and government spending, the mental health system, etc, but still have trouble getting angry at actual people who are close to me-regardless with what they had one.
So despite some of the darkness in your life right now, you do have alot going for you despite the unfortunate circumstances. It's like you are seeing some light at the end of the tunnel. In my case, I never even looked for the light and am paying for my mistakes. Best to you and your children. :)
poster:violette
thread:960391
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100829/msgs/960899.html