Posted by sam K on November 24, 2009, at 23:33:54
I hope people rememeber me on here. I've started socializing quite a bit and am getting happier everyday. I'm having one of these moments though, I need something to fall back on. So I'll just vent here and maybe socialanxietysupport.com.
I've done so much for this girl, and she does nothing for me in return. Its rediculous. I feel addicted to her, I want to help her. I had no idea codependency what about helping others. Like, I have a ton of the symptoms. I tolerate her abuse toward me. Its gross. She relapsed on herion and got the Swine flu and I took care of her, got her Tamiflu and got her back on her feet. Then she just treats me like I'm no one.
I tihnk I lack self perception so I seek it from another person. I dont know if Im attractive, but if a girl tells me I am then then I finally know. I crave that. I think I really need to work on giving up on her.
Now I have the flu because I kept her company. The Tamiflu is making me manic Im pretty sure. I feel pretty terrible.
I feel that manic wiredness, schizoid weirdness, mood swings from hell, just strange.
Otherwise Im doing okay. I am finally starting to socialize. I have a lot of friends who care about me, even though they do abuse drugs.
At this point in my life, or right now, I dont know whats happening, Im just living it.
I hope I figure this thing out!! I really think Im discovering my inner monster, the cycle that causes all hell. I mean Ive taken on my eating disorder, BUT NOW I'm addicted to people. WOAH. Its crazy.
I was a former drug user in my younger teens, and I have no craving for marijuana at all or alcohol or any illegal drug. So I was wondering what the heck happened... Now I guess my drug/addiction of choice is people. What a life!!..
PS. NEVER GET SWINE FLU ITS HORRIBLE
poster:sam K
thread:926908
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20091117/msgs/926908.html