Posted by happee_place on June 16, 2008, at 23:42:11
In reply to Blank mind, ''Loss of soul'', anhedonia, posted by PoolGuy on June 16, 2008, at 16:41:31
Hello Pool Guy!!!!
I am new her too and took a balsy moove by being completley vulnerable the first time or so that i posted, so i commend you for that i know its not easy.
Second of all wanted to write you because i know EXACTLY how you feel. It is the very reason i took myself off my meds in 2002. I had been taking paxil for 5 year up till that point and felt like a shell. In one way i didnt mind it. Because of my past and just being prone to anxiety and depression i am over annalytical about everything over emotional very sensitive so for me it was sort of a relief. I could function for once without haveing to 'feel' everything! And when i started to get to a place of being really healthy i missed my emotions. I am a lover of people and i hated that i couldnt feel anything for anyone. Nothing would make me cry. And after a while it just got sorta old and i felt i knew what i had to do. I tapred mysef off paxil Which by the way is a bitch to get out of your system- a testiment of how badly i wanted to feel 'normal') . And i did fine for about a year and a half with no meds. Ans slowly but surley my old thoughts and feelings krept back in. I got so used to the fact that i was 'surviving' on my own!! I had acquired some sort of pride that i didnt need those drugs and shunned them off for as long as possible. I literally dragged it out until i got to a point again of total dibilitation where i literally couldnt function.
That is no way to live ya know! Something that has taken me a lot of years to come to grips with is the fact that my internal chemistry/chemicals are not totally wired perfectly. And realized that God gifted people with amazing brains and talent to creat such medicines to help those that arent naturly blessed with normal chemistry to reconnect the frayed wires. It really helped me accept that i might have to use medicine to function normally for the rest of my life and not feel like a freak.
You mentioned you did try Zoloft for 3 days?? Any Doctor should have and is supposed to tell you it takes usually 2-3 weeks to actually normalize in your bloodstream for it to even make a bit of difference and will take that long for you to feel ANY changes. Is it possible that you were mentally anticipating what the drug would do so much to a point that you created symptoms or you might have read the warnings on Zoloft and fixated on one thing in particular. When people deal with anxiety it is hard to decifer sometimes real feelings from actual things - it interferes with everyday life. The symptom you mentioned you had from Zoloft is also a symptom of anxiety.
My opinion is you should re-consider taking a medication to help you through this stage of your life and quite possibly for the rest of your life. It is normal to experiment with certain drugs (that is the downfall to taking them is you only know which one works by trial and error) Im hopeing you have a good doctor that you canbe open totally open and honest with and can walk you through this process that will really help too.
I just encourage you to give the meds another shot! I have taken many over the years (13 yrs). Some worked, some didnt, some worked for a period of time and then stopped working. I am actually in that boat now trying to experiment with certain ones that fit my place in life right now. And its not uncommon for people with similar ailments to also have to experiment with various ones throughout thier life.
Good luck and keep posting it really helps!!
Sincerely,
H.P.
poster:happee_place
thread:834936
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080606/msgs/835007.html