Posted by Lindenblüte on October 7, 2006, at 9:54:05
In reply to Re: My new meds, posted by alexandra_k on October 6, 2006, at 22:57:16
> > I'm not convinced that the anxiety I feel after missing my prn dose will be much different from the anxiety I've had since January.
>
> It won't be the anxiety that you have had since January plus the anxiety that you have from withrdawal?>
> If you have had the anxiety since January then this prescription isn't just something to get you through a temporary hard patch. If you take it for a week then you are going to have a tolerance to it. You won't feel so zonked on it anymore, but if you stop taking it then isn't it likely that you will have the anxiety of withdrawal but the initial anxiety that led you to take the med in the first place?I have read that the tolerance develops in people who take the medication for insomnia. That after about 2 weeks, it is no longer an effective sleeping pill. I don't think that there is good evidence that tolerance develops for the anxiolytic/anticonvulsant properties (did I mention my dad's history of epilepsy, btw?)
And yes, it is likely that when I stop taking the med in a week or two that my anxiety will return. I can deal with anxiety that comes with certain situations. Predictable anxiety- like the anxiety of waiting for a bus in the middle of the night, or when there is a raging thunderstorm, or when I ave to go to a party where I don't know anyone. The overgeneralized anxiety with the hypervigilance and flashbacks and all that good stuff is a fairly recent development. So, I think THAT is what we are trying to deal with here. I am not expecting a miracle- that my anxiety will *poof* go back to some baseline which the fearless among us seem to take for granted. Nope, my expectations are that I will have to take this drug when I am going through a rough patch. There have been a lot of rough patches lately, but also, when I was on my summer vacations, I noticed that my anxiety didn't really hamper my enjoyment of life. I'm fully prepared to be more cautious and more reactive than 80% of people out there in the world today. I've learned to deal with that stuff. Heck, I've even performed solo violin recitals and given lectures to big crowds and have engaged in some pretty extreme skiing. I just don't like seeing what's been happening to me in the last few weeks, where I don't feel safe, and I'm isolating myself and not allowing myself to go out and live. This is a fairly recent development. I figured that when the depression lifted, so would the anxiety, but it never did. I'm also hoping to train my body not to react with such extreme panic to certain circumstances. For example, for 5 years, I would take inderal (beta-blocker) before all of my solo violin performances. This REALLY helped with my stage fright, and I grew a lot as a musician and a performer. In the last two years, I have noticed that I do not *need* to have this drug to perform well. I still get nervous, but somehow the really strong fear-conditioning has been broken. I even did an audition last year with nothing more than a couple of bananas (anecdotally good for acute stage fright). I really surprised myself that I played so well despite a feeling of terror!.
I also am realizing for the first time that I don't have to live with this tonic level of anxiety. I just assumed that everyone felt like this all the time. kind of tight in their chest. vigilant. reactive. It's really quite fascinating. Iv'e felt like this much of my life. Not all the time, but usually during periods of stress, like at the end of the semester, or when I have a lot of deadlines. I think this drug is making me realize that there are alternatives.
I'd love to explore other ways of experiencing a low-tension lifestyle. I have a feeling that yoga and exercise and meditation will certainly be beneficial. I think I will use those types of strategies in the maintenence phase of managing my anxiety. It really is striking, though. I had NO idea that I was so tense.
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> Some people say that they have been taking the same dose for a number of years and they never have increased it.
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> They also say that it manages their anxiety fine and they don't have negative side effects from it.
>
> What I wonder is... Is that right? Is reaction time slowed? Is cognition slowed?
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> So I'm concerned, yeah.
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> That being said, I'm sorry if what I said struck you as unsupportive. I didn't mean to be unsupportive. Concerned, yeah. Maybe I should have just left this alone... But if you have had the anxiety since January then I don't see what is going to change over the next week...
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> > As far as coping with anxiety, I'm trained in Insight Meditation and that has not seemed very helpful.
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> How often do you meditate?
> What kind of meditation do you do?
>
> I'm doing some mindfulness meditation with Deneb and Clearskies over on social if you would like to join us:
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> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060922/msgs/691416.html
>thanks for this link. I'll pop over later today. first I need to do some errands. my fridge is BARE. I think I'm up for something calming this afternoon. sounds nice :)
-Li
poster:Lindenblüte
thread:692068
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061003/msgs/692674.html