Posted by jealibeanz on June 19, 2006, at 4:24:27
In reply to Re: Doctor Tomorrow!!!, posted by heaven help me on June 14, 2006, at 16:16:47
Well... another update... I've got a physical with my doc (for PA school) in two months. I suppose I could somehow work up the courage to bring up depression, or the fact that I may not continue with school (he'd be very concerned and upset), which would start a conversation. I go to sleep every night and think I can't do this another day. I just don't care. Yet, I keep going. I feel that it's too inportant of a career I'll be working in to have this attitude, especially since I know my depression can get worse. At least I have the energy and motivation to get out of bed, go to school, and act happy. There have times when I've basically dropped out of life.
I wonder if by August EMSAM would be popular enough that he'd think of it... who knows. Until then, I'll continue taking my Xanax, trying to learn as much as possible, acting super enthusiastic, and happy (even though it's as fake as can be!!!). Eventually, the act will get old and I'll probably crash. But, I'm trying to at least set up a good life and appear happy til I get things straight. Acting like the depressed girl never made me or anyone else happy. So that's no longer the outside picture. It's just the inside picture.
poster:jealibeanz
thread:654795
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060617/msgs/658585.html