Posted by TommyIsland on January 12, 2006, at 3:45:49
Here's my situation. I suffer from debilitating thoughts. I have pure obsessions that plague me nonstop and have constrewed my thinking patterns. It's like my entire thinking process is a big game of myself playing devils advocate against myself. My social life went from a very busy one in the past to basically nonexistent. I have no desire to socialize or go out and my behavior has become extremely Avoidant. I have no desire to even leave the house. I have a terrible outlook on life and it just seems like the sun rises and sets everytime I blink my eyes. The days literally fly by and I'm only 29 years old but feel like my best days are all behind me. I feel like I can't change myself because my mind has literally hijacked my old self and personality and now I'm just this zombie that exists. My thought patterns are strange and very much a cycle of self analysis and self sabotage. As far as meds go, that's become a big joke. Are my disturbing thoughts causing all my sorrows or do I have some legitimate mental illness that needs to be helped with meds? I'm leaning towards the first.......I feel that my own phobic thought patterns are responsible for debilitating myself to the point of not wanting to do anything. I've tried CBT with one of the best in the nation.......a guy in NYC who specializes in pure Obsessions. My next step I think is going to be ECT. I have to take a big step and see what happens. I have nothing to lose at this point because I have suicide ideation nonstop everyday. Well any thoughts and replies would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Tommy
poster:TommyIsland
thread:598254
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060108/msgs/598254.html