Posted by Racer on March 29, 2005, at 20:59:24
In reply to Re: My doctor can't help me, posted by Maxime on March 29, 2005, at 20:28:08
> > OK. Well, if you already know anything that I can tell you, I guess I'll shut up.
> >
> >
>
> I was just telling you what I know and more about my pdoc and my situation. I wouldn't tell anyone to shut up, except for one person on this board.
>
> I am just looking for a little morale support since I don't have any in real life. You have never seen me post anything about "what med should I take" or anything along those lines. That is because I know it it impossible for you to know my situation.
>
> I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't around here. I'm sorry.
>
> I need to cut ... but I musn't ...
>
> Maxi
I'm sorry, Maxi. I took out my own upset on you, and you sure as hell don't deserve it. It was wrong of me to write that, and it was entirely my own state coming out.Maybe you can understand a little if I tell you a little of what was going on for me? I'll try, but you do not have to read it.
I am in the process of writing a series of formal complaints about some, shall we say, "suboptimal" treatment I received last year for depression. There is a local law firm, run by the local Bar Association, which handles complaints about mental health care in this county, and an attorney there had taken on the investigation of my complaints. Their merit review came back saying that my complaints "lacked merit" with the exception of the fact that they had failed to note that I lost about 50 pounds -- roughly a third of my body weight -- during a relapse of AN. This despite my telling the people "treating" me that I was experiencing this relapse.
So, I'm writing the complaint myself. It's triggering me, because I can't seem to distance myself from those experiences emotionally, and because I have such poor skills in dealing with anger in general.
Today, the attorney emailed me her notes from her discussions with the providers in question. They say such things as "client wanted to focus on the upcoming holidays instead of on her ED symptoms" -- well, the fact is that I didn't have any ED symptoms to focus on (and hadn't for nearly a decade) until after Valentines Day, so there was nothing to say about it all before Christmas! Almost everything in these notes is technically true, in a similar fashion, but none of it is accurate. And based on this information -- inaccurate as it is -- they concluded that my complaint lacks merit.
I'm guessing you can see where I might be feeling a little frustrated today? When I read your post, I found it frustrating, and lashed out.
Once again, I am very sorry, Maxi, that you're going through this. I agree that many doctors do not know nearly as much as they'd like to think about eating disorders, and that makes it so very frustrating to deal with them.
I have a question, though, but feel free to ignore it. I don't know anything about thyroid problems, but my new psychiatrist -- Dr CattleProd for anyone keeping track -- has brought up using thyroid meds even for women who test in the normal range, to push them close to or sometimes over the top of that range. I'm curious about what sorts of thyroid tests you've had done and how they're coming out now that you're on meds for it?
Maxi, I really do wish that I could take back my little tantrum, and hope that you can hear that I am sincere.
poster:Racer
thread:477221
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050326/msgs/477436.html