Posted by banga on February 7, 2005, at 17:16:34
In reply to Re: alcohol and meds, posted by sjb on February 7, 2005, at 14:02:59
God! I am so glad you have written here. If only I had two years ago--opened up to ANYONE about it. I truly suspect SSRIs can worsen the pull towards alcohol. Please, try to find someone you can talk to. It is such a burden to carry all that alone. I was where you were about 5 years ago, I kept saying to myself "it's a problem, but I'll pull myself together" Well it never happened--I ended up going through 3 treatments, and probably in all seriousness have some physical damage, esp. combining it with meds. It is such a slippery slope, noone who hasn't been there could imagine how easy it is to keep falling. I was the last person people thought this could happen to....
Consider talking to your therapist, if that is the person you'd most likely open up to. Even if she lenghtens therapy, is it not worth it if you consider what could happen if you don't? You won't be letting her down, she will be happy you felt comfortable enough to say something. Please please believe me I thought I could deal with it myself, it just doesn't happen.
And the pain and guilt and shame and heaviness of holding it all yourself. It's horrid. I am not an AA buff by any means; but the good news is that a lot of people who go to AA are not the religious freaks I thought they would be. I went solely to them to find people who REALLY understand, and who can help me deal with the shame. I only went for a short time, to help with getting started and to not be alone.Really, really, please this is not a pat answer and i got so annoyed when people said "go to AA" as the only advice, or a similar silly line from an AA fanatic. I know what I am talking about. Please consider it if nothing else, just to not be alone.
Even when I did open up to some people around me, that little self-deprecating voice kept saying "yeah, but they don't REALLY know what a bad person you are." I don't go to AA now, I just went for a few months to get the support and help dealing with the shame, and I was on my way. The feeling I got there that I am not alone......that saved my life literally.
It is such a slippery slope...please stop it now by taking a breath and telling someone before it goes like what happened to me--a highly educated woman (in the mental health profession no less)with everything going for me, to a person on the verge of death. You get there quicker than you think. But just even think of the burden you have each day now....Just dont be alone anymore, please?
And I am so glad you said something here. I do understand.
poster:banga
thread:454317
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050207/msgs/454524.html