Posted by nagash on December 10, 2004, at 15:43:00
So it's been 2 months since my initial previous post to the forum:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041007/msgs/399975.html
Not much has changed. My mental condition is quite OK (it wasn't the other day, tho, but that just happens), but I am still insatisfied. My motivation is ZERO. My chores are absolutely killer for me, god damn, go to a gas station and refuel the god damn car is a god damn punishment, never mind studying for the upcoming exams, which I hence do not exactly view in very bright colors.
So I, dear friends, have decided it is high time to, well... do something?
I'm not the "oh I suck, I'm miserable" depressed kind of person, of course I am far from waking up with a smile, but I cope.What must be addressed first is motivation. SSRIs won't get me motivated, they'll fuck me up.
I've been thinking about something dopamine-related:
Wellbutrin SR (Bupropion)? But I can only afford 150mg/day
Amantadine 100mg/day?
Pergolide (Permax) 1mg/dayQuestionable:
Bromocriptine - because of its moderate efficiacy and fast pooping-out?Mirapex (Pramipexole) is out of question cause I can only afford 0,36mg/day -- worthwhile?
Concerta/Ritalin (Methylphenidate) because it's SOOO controlled here even legit hardcore ADHD people don't get it.Amphetamine - because that's what I'm self-medicating with now. And I managed to develop a funny nauseous-indifferent feeling from it. Only the insomnia and sweaty palms are always there.
When I do a lot in the day, like sports, I don't have trouble sleeping. When I do nothing all day long (as I do now), I have trouble sleeping, which I ameliorate with benzodiazepines and GHB whenever I have access to it. My benzo tolerance is another thing to be addressed, though ;)
I've also ordered Phenibut for its reported nootropic and social-motivational properties. Has anone had any experience with this compound? Or Picamilon? But in terms of social anxiety I don't seem to be bothered by others anymore. I just don't care :(
Thanks for making it to this point of the post :) I hope you can help he choose the best medication to give a shot. Just to get my life back, finally, and possibly get the god damn degree on the god damn academy. Wish me luck, I still have hope.
poster:nagash
thread:399975
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041206/msgs/427340.html