Posted by TommyIsland on September 15, 2004, at 4:38:30
Hello, I have been reading posts on here from time to time over the past 2 years and am amazed at the vast variety of different experiences people have on whatever medications they are taking. It just seems to me that no two people are alike in their "medication for success" journey. I am here to shed light on my success / negatives of Effexor XR.
I'm 28 years old and have suffered hard core from suicidal depression (in a sense that if I'm not medicated I'm literally so low that I am immobolized) since the tender age of 15 years old. Of coarse it's been 1 big journey to just try and understand that I'm not crazy as I thought I was at age 15 and it's been an uphill battle to say the very least. Anyways, I've tried many meds with no success until I came upon Effexor XR in 1999. True to what many other people have said, it did do a great job at putting me in an almost "Zombie type" state of mind where I could physically not get excited or upset. This was great for the anxiety because now I had nerves of steel and didn't get nervous in the physical sense of the word. This is great for somebody who suffers from severe anxiety but at the same time it truly diminishes life's experiences because u are in a "Middle State" as I like to call it. The major drawback to being in a middle state is that you don't get to experience the physical sensations of emotions because your body is literally in a semi tranquilized state. One strange example of this is with adrenaline. I could mentally get angry at a situation but I can't get my motor running physically. For instance, I got into a physical fight at a club with some punk who literally came over and started with me for some ridiculous reason (not to mention he was on steroids and on some kind of drugs and drunk) and I internally / mentally was angry at the kid but physically I was unable to get mad in a sense to where my body could produce adrenaline and want to kick his ass. Situations like these really make me feel not normal and make me tremendously dislike Effexor XR. Another thing is the sexual side effects. I have to literally plan on trying to make myself "horny." I take 150 MG a day and if I plan on "getting the job done in bed" I have to not take the pill for about 2 days until I feel the sensations of withdrawl and then I can orgasm. Even at this level, the orgasm in not intense and my libido is extremely low still. Another MAJOR MAJOR complaint with the medication is how sleepy it makes me all the time. I swear when I fall asleep, it is almost impossible for me to wake up because the sedation power is so strong that all I want to do is continue to sleep. There have been times where I have been able to sleep for 15 hours straight. I also am wired at night and prefer to fall asleep late and get about late (noonish.) The job I do allows me to live this "unwanted time habitual lifestyle" because I have my own business which works at nighttime....(An Entertainment Company / DJ Business.) My energy levels and my enthusiasm to do things are always extremely low and I procrastinate to no end because I "don't feel like" doing anything extra that I don't have to. I don't have manic episodes as a classic "Bipolar" is suppossed to have. I am what you would call a "Unipolar" where all I experience is the Depression side of this illness. My life is passing by year by year and I'm getting in my late twenties now (28 to be exact about it) and I want to be able to experience life in a whole new way. I'm sick of this "rut" life experience I've been living for so long. Yes the anxiety is alleviated to some strong degree and the depression is alleviated to a level I can deal with, but my life is so unsatisfying that it makes me so sad that I have all these goals and no desire, passion, or drive to complete any of them because I live in this world of complete "frozeness" for lack of a better word. The last time I got off of Effexor XR was December of 2002 and I actually felt great for a couple days of being off of it. Then I crumbled into the deepest darkest depression since the age of 15. I cried nonstop and thought that life couldn't get any lower and that the only way out would be suicide. I actually contemplated it mentally because I was so damn low it hurt to open my eyes. I went onto Lexapro for 2 months with little to no success and then back onto Effexor XR because it was the only thing that had stabilized me for so long. I got back on it and have been ever since. I want to find something else and I want to find it soon because I can't live the way I'm living anymore. I want go somewhere in life.........fall in love and get married eventually and I need a desperate change to get me going again - living again. If anybody could help me with any suggestions about medications or if anybody could relate to my personal experiences please write back as it would mean a lot to me. God Bless everybody who struggles out there and just remember to keep trucking along and trying and not to give up because there is life out there for everybody.
Sincerely,
Tommy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
poster:TommyIsland
thread:390976
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040915/msgs/390976.html