Posted by mattw84 on August 31, 2004, at 20:04:37
I have had a crummy month thus far, but the 'creme de la creme' was losing my job today. Within the last week my boss has on numerous separate occasions, either reversed decisions I have made, broken contractual agreements that I signed as a representative of the business, and today told all of the employees not to talk to me else risk losing their job!! At this point I walked out, and have no plans of returning.
How things got to this point is a *really* (REALLY) long story, but had I been in better coping ability this whole situation could likely have been avoided...
I am diagnosed as ADHD Severe Inattention, in addition depression. My daily medication regime is 300 mg Wellbutrin XL and 3x10mg Adderall. My last visit to the pdoc was on the 24th, and I tried to explain what are now the events that led up to this. Racing thoughts, constant preoccupation with meaningless events (future or present), extreme irritability, lack of motivation, insomnia, and social anxiety that worsens by the day. The doc insisted that these are all symptoms of depression, and insisted on adding risperdal as a sleep aid and said it would augment the Wellbutrin and hopefully I would again see some good in my life.
I tried the risperdal at bedtime (0.5mg) for a few days, and came to associate it with a pounding headache the following day; though it did prove to knock me out at bedtime. I didn't call the doc as I have an appointment sep 9th, and assumed I would make it till then and could discuss other options. However, yesterday I left my girlfriends house in a grumpy mood and knew things were continuing to go down hill, debated calling the doc... didn't... Today -- spent all morning (As in like 4 hours) on the IRS website trying to make since of my employers recent decision to not pay my taxes for my income earned. Was getting really angry and frustrated by the whole situation, so I decided it was time to call the doc before I lost my job or something... couldn't find the number and it was time to go to work, arrived at work and sure enough everything hit a breaking point as expected...
At this point I don't know where to turn, nor have any idea WHY I am going thru this sort of "nervous breakdown." I haven't a clue what might be the cause of my current mental state, I am hoping the someone here may have had a similar experience, or have any advice for me. Much appreciated.
Matt
poster:mattw84
thread:384983
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040830/msgs/384983.html