Posted by WAKI on August 2, 2004, at 23:01:04
In reply to Re: How do you know Depression ended?, posted by ednababish on August 2, 2004, at 21:01:08
Edna and Sexylexy,
You both have good points.
I don't know what type of depression I have. All of the P-docs have just called it depression and anxiety and they say they treat them all the same in general terms. My depression is a constant fatigue it felt like i was partially a sleep all day. Napping was my biggest priority I can sadly say.
The sadness came in when I vewed where I came from and what a loser I was becomming. My eating was poor and out of control, no excercise, basically worked as a workaholic and went home crashed and started the new work day. I became a couch patato that I always said it would never be me and I dispised the lack of productivity of it.
As far as meds go, wellbutrin has been the first that has given me energy, excercise, eat well and look good again.
At night I have been taking lamictal 400 mg, 80 mg stratera (this is new only 6 weeks now) The strattera appears to be making me focus more and 10 mg ambien to get my sleep pattern back.
I have shocked my life about as much as one can shock it. Quit a very well payed career, sold many prescious belongings, taking a year maybe two travelling, smelling roses, seeing quiet tranquil scenery, joined social groups, helping the needy. I do get with my nephews and neices sometimes which is that younger perspective you mentioned.
In summary I don't know if my problem is phycological or biological or both. I am not in denile I would love to change my cognitivt behavior if I just knew what it is I am supposed to change.
I hope by this posting you can see I am being productive it just lacks any emotional involvement, pleasure, motivation and more organized home managment.
I could keep pursueng these routine activities used to enjoy.However it's like visiting an out
Bottom-line is it's all a show and I enjoy none of it.
The federal funded research expermentation I am going through covers all meds and 2 visits per week. This program does not have therapy. I do have insurance that would cover a group therapy.
What exactly is the type of therapy I need? I don't like generalizing things but I do want my Motivation, drive, zest for life, productive and organized life style back.
I don't think they have a therapy class for that do they?
Is there a good self help book I should be reading?
I have been keeping distant from potential relationships beacsue I don't want to drag a sweet lady into my transistion.
I think it would be very interesting if I met a woman who is also going through this type of transistion. This way we could push and motivate each other.
It still gets back to me socializing with people in the same stage in life as I though. But where?
As far as everyone else is concerned, I did a 180 degree turn, look great appear to feel great and am great to be around.
The sad part about all of it is the truth is I only have more energy and the rest of these things came about because I knew I used to enjoy them. I also lnew they were the correct things to do to start to get my life back. I really don't enjoy them though, I just pretend to.
I was contenplating going to law school but am questioning it now until I get my emotional act together.
I know I rambled on but I did not want to leave any rock ub turned in the case someone coulf offer me avfvise on where to go in the Chicago area.
poster:WAKI
thread:109458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040730/msgs/373417.html