Posted by TexasChic on March 17, 2004, at 15:01:18
I've never posted on this part before, only on the meds one. So this is my first time talking about anything but meds. First of all, I am being treated for depression. I've had it as long as I can remember, and have fought to rise above it.
Recently I decided to severe the ties with an old friend who didn't seem to want me in her life anymore. I wrote her an email saying 'I'm going to have to give up on you now. You obviously have no need for me or our friendship anymore – but I guess people move on. I hope everything works out well for you.' I didn't expect much back from her, as she had been so distant. I thought it was what she wanted, and I needed the closure. Her response was like nothing I could have ever imagined. She started off making excuses (new boyfriend, so busy, so tired.) Then she started laying in to me. She said I was too dependent on our relationship to the extent of not making other friends (not true), and that she was tired of being responsible for everyone else's happiness and now it was her turn. The emails went on from there. She basically believes I'm being too needy and insecure, and said I was lashing out at her because of my own frustrations in my life. She would never admit that she had done anything wrong.
I obviously didn't get the closure I wanted, and now I'm feeling bad for ever starting this. I printed out the emails and brought them to my therapist. She said I did nothing wrong and her reaction validated my original feelings that she no longer wanted my friendship. She made me promise not to blame myself for this, but I can't help thinking ...what if I had never sent that email? So here I am feeling sad, angry, frustrated, and like I've been the butt of everyone's joke or something (I had another 'friend' write me and tell me I was very insecure and blowing everything out of proportion).
I know this is long, sorry about that. I just needed to vent. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
poster:TexasChic
thread:325332
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040313/msgs/325332.html