Posted by LynneDa on March 8, 2004, at 18:27:54
In reply to 15mg or 20mg Question, Pls respond, posted by sexylexy on March 8, 2004, at 17:58:59
Hi! This is going to be long, but I want to give you several specific examples. This was very therapeutic to write. So, I want to hear some back from all of you too :-)
It is indeed a very slow process. I too thought it would be a quick 4 - 6 months on Lex, then I could just taper off and be my old self!!
I'm into my 10th week on the upped dose of 20mg. This weekend was a good example. I had so much to get done and even though I didn't get to everything on my list, I felt energetic and happy to get even half of it done. I could look back and feel okay about it. I didn't beat myself up for not doing more. Also, I felt pleasant and almost light in my heart for most of the weekend.
Last week, I was able to go over to a very good friend's house and help her with her divorce agreement. I never could give emotionally to anyone else in the past couple of years cuz I was so tied up in knots. It was a great relief to be able to do that and not stress about time I was losing with my family, what is my husband doing to get the kids ready for bed, what about the dinner dishes I left, etc. It left me energized to be able to help her - which is the OLD ME!!!!
Another really good example is that my husband and I are laughing more and more over dumb things and really talking about issues (local politics, things we're interested in outside of work and family) like we used to. I actually have the mental energy to think outside of my small world and I have a better attention span so I can keep up with the conversation!
I don't sweat the small stuff as much. If the kids don't pick up their rooms perfectly, I don't go off on them (poor things!). I don't get as annoyed as easily and can blow things off better. I can tell my husband more directly when I need things from him and I don't feel guilty or like I'm asking too much (one of my personal issues). That feels NORMAL (so of course it feels a little weird, but I'll get used to it!).
Here's a big one Lexy . . . I can dream about the future and know I will have a happy one. I think I am starting to count on that - the old me always knew I'd be okay and NEVER worried about the future - I always felt blessed, lucky, charmed, protected . . . whatever - and not because of another person, just due to the goodness that surrounded me. I am starting to trust that again and that is HUGE. I am tearing up as I write this cuz it is such an important realization :-).
I know this is long and thanks for reading it, but these things are how I know it's working. I'm not all the way there yet and I'll never be 100% back to my old self. I've been changed permanently. But, the fog is lifting and the energy is returning.
Love, peace and God's blessings to all of you. I think about you all each day and keep you in my prayers. Please hang in there everyone, it does get better!!!!!!!!!!!
~ LynneP.S. Lexy - you're going to Vegas with your boyfriend? Home to little white chapels???? Keep us posted girlfriend!
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Hey Ya'll
> This question is for those on 15 or 20mg. I am on day 6 of 15mg. I am not seeing a lot of difference yet but am having some side effects, nothing too bad, a little anxiety, nausea and spacey feeling. I am hoping it goes away soon but I am really looking forward to seeing more improvement.
> Can you all tell me how you feel different on the upped level of lex. At this point I am hoping to continue to find relife form depression/anxiety. LynnDa... I loved your email, can you tell me if you are feeling better and overall more like yourself.
> I really had thought that this whole healing thing was a quick process that last weeks but I am now starting to understand that it is more like months and a very slow process. Like I say, I may lose battles but I am going to win this war. Please give me feedback.
> God Bless,
> Lexy
poster:LynneDa
thread:109458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040308/msgs/322173.html