Posted by socialdeviantjeff on December 6, 2003, at 23:18:18
I HATE beaurocacy. I live in the US. My meds are about to cost about $400 a month! I just paid $180 for 2 weeks worth of Effexor! I have No insurance, and the insurance through my work costs way too much and will only cover a fraction of my psychactric costs. Add $200 child support and bad debt. Subtract that from $600-800 a month in income, part time. Thank God I live with my parents!
I am really in crisis mode here. Medicaid still says I make two much for coverage, and that I should work more. My Pdoc has no opinion on my ability to work. I can't afford to get a second opinion. It is pure hell to work three days a week. But I do it. It's important to what's left of my self image to work, even if the job is a piece of shit.
I don't know what to do. If I reduce my hours even more, I could lose my job. Plus, there would still be copays to be paid. If I used SSI, (and I would really only have a snowflake's chance in hell of getting it) well, I don't know. Suppose I worked very little or not at all and had everything else taken care of? Suppose I stabilized? What then? What happens the next time it hits?
I once knew a person in her 20's that had Cystic Fibrosis. Very late stage. A very obvious disability. She was closer to death than any human I have ever seen. Her daily medicines filled 2 dresser drawers and she endured daily painful percussion vest therapies. But she kept going. always quietly optomistic. She had a much rougher life than most people for a lot of reasons and yet she could still go on smiling and did not fear death. She was inspirational. I would trade places with her, no questions.
I wish I could say, "OK, I have a disease and now I can just go on with things." I wish I could, like her, just accept life as it is and just live fully. No. My condition doesn't allow me that particular luxury.
poster:socialdeviantjeff
thread:287305
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031202/msgs/287305.html