Posted by Davina on March 17, 2003, at 14:21:14
Hi...
I have posted a couple of questions in the Topomox thread, but thought I should find a more general area to talk. The search feature isn't operating, so I thought I would take a leap and start my own. I am bipolar and over the years have seen numerous doctors and taken all kinds of meds in various ways for various lengths of time. Sometimes they seem to work and my life seems fine! But then, eventually they don't seem to work anymore or I develop unwanted side-effects (i.e. weight gain, hair loss) so I get them changed to something new which may or may not work... many times I just end up back on Prozac since I tend to live more in the depressed world... but, then that becomes not even enough when I really start to cycle between episodes... like now. So- I am seeing a new doctor and trying some new meds. I left a good paying job in August and have worked some part-time since then... but I owe a TON of money. My insurance has just been cancelled because I couldn't pay. I am struggling to enjoy my new part-time job so I can have at least some income... but, the blanket is not lifting. When I am manic I take on so much... I plan so many things! I feel so capable!!! And when I am stable, I truly AM a very capable person... but, when I am like this- I can barely take care of myself. The world doesn't stop for us to gather ourselves together and find a balance... bills keep piling up, relationships still need attention, and responsibilities don't go away. So how do you catch up? The meds are hugely expensive! I can barely handle a part-time position making less than half of what I was before... so, what do you do? Is there any such thing as disability for people like this? Is there any help out there??? My parents are trying to help the best they can, but the have no idea the extent of the problem. And I can't just let my burden fall on them like that. I am too old for that... But, I can't help myself right now either! I feel trapped... and hopeless. I want so badly to be happy and to feel like a normal person!!! Even if I could just get manic for a little bit maybe I could make some headway! But, I am the type that has mixed episodes, so right now my mania is encased in a vault of depression that I just can't break! The meds are new... so I need to give them time. But, like I said... the world won't wait.
Does anyone have any idea what I am talking about??? If so, please respond...
Davina
poster:Davina
thread:210058
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030314/msgs/210058.html